The most interesting thing about Amanda Bynes—and there are many, many things competing for that superlative—is her Twitter account. She retired from acting through it: “I know 24 is a young age to retire but you heard it here first I’ve #retired.” (Her tweet minutes before: “I like black men I’m very attracted to them just fyi.”) She’s appealed to the president to get her out of a drunk driving charge. “Hey @BarackObama…I don’t drink. Please fire the cop who arrested me. I also don’t hit and run. The end.”
There was a dark period between September 2010 and November 2012 when the former Nickelodeon actress deleted her iconic Twitter account (flowers died; children wept; a brisk, ominous chill enveloped the land). Now it’s back, better, and as batshit as ever. Proof: a tweet Thursday night that quickly went viral in which Bynes invited a rapper to assassinate her hooha.
I want @drake to murder my vagina
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) March 22, 2013
Yes, “I want @drake to murder my vagina.” Someone needs to get that in needlepoint on a throw pillow stat. Wonderfully, horrifyingly, hilariously, it’s only the latest of Bynes’s odd tweets. Here, a walk back through the Amanda Bynes Twitter Hall of Shame.
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Wink ;) twitpic.com/ca3l06
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) March 10, 2013
What is there to say about this that hasn’t already been said? (And a lot was said.)
I created the phrase Ily & lololol.*proud*
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) March 17, 2013
Amanda Bynes, inventor of the phrase “laugh out loud out loud out loud.” *proud* indeed.
Please don't take paparazzi pictures of me I like taking my own!twitpic.com/cbn57a
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) March 15, 2013
Xoxo, Human Brat Doll
He's Rocking That Incest Face
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) March 15, 2013
Who is and what does that look like? This is important.
SoCkstwitpic.com/cc0kzd
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) March 17, 2013
Cute!
When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) March 13, 2013
Amanda. Amaaaanda. AmANda. AmanDA. Amahhnda. Is it love yet?
I'm on that 24 hour walking diet
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) March 2, 2013
Ugh, we’re having a total cheat day. (Sat down for three minutes earlier. Yes, so much shame…)
Taking gymnastic classes bwaha
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) February 8, 2013
Yes, Amanda Bynes taking gymnastics does sound terrifying. Bwaha is right.
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) January 29, 2013
!!!
Twerking out
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) March 22, 2013
This was posted right after her invitation to Drake to commit homicide on her vagina. It could not have been a more brilliant follow up. Well played, Ms. Bynes. Well played.