James Franco Heads to the Bush
The award show kicked off with James Franco heading to Australia—“So this is the real Oz, home of my favorite singer, Russell Crowe”—to fetch Rebel Wilson. “Rebel, you’ve been chosen,” he tells her. “To be Tom Cruise’s new wife?” she asks. Sadly, no—to host the MTV Movie Awards.
Pitch Perfect’s Off-Key Mashup
The MTV Movie Awards, the only place where you can see the cast of Pitch Perfect sing a mashup of Miley Cyrus, Eminem, Alicia Keys, and Macklemore. The performance was exactly the glorious hot mess that description sounds like.
Emma Watson Is Not Starring in 50 Shades of Grey …
Emma Watson is not Hermione anymore. She’s an irritatingly kind co-star, according to Eddie Redmayne, who co-starred with her in My Week With Marilyn. She’s a giving actress, said Logan Lerman, her co-star in Perks of Being a Wallflower. She’s also, joked Jonah Hill, about to co-star with him in the adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey. “It’s going to get rough out there,” he said, “but I need you to know one thing: my safety word is ‘tangerine.’”
… but Definitely Is a Trailblazer
Watson received the Trailblazer award, and, after joking about looking back at her career and realizing “how bad my hair was in the first Harry Potter film,” she delivered a crucial, inspiring piece of advice: “Becoming yourself is really hard and confusing, and it’s a process. I was the girl in the front of the class who was the first person to put her hand up, and it’s often not cool to be the person who puts themselves out there, and I’ve often gotten teased mercilessly. But I found, ultimately, if you truly pour your heart into what you believe, even if it makes you vulnerable, amazing things can and will happen.” Trailblazer might sound like a made-up award, but at least Watson said something meaningful.
Rebel Wilson’s Career Highlights (or Are They Lowlights?)
We may know her best from Bridesmaids and Pitch Perfect, but Rebel Wilson takes us on a video tour of all the critically acclaimed films she also starred in this year that we may not have known about. She was, for example, the head whore in Les Misérables: “Is it possible for me to shave my head as well?” She was Richard Parker in Life of Pi, a tiger who confusingly talked, and with an Indian accent, to boot. And she was, apparently, a stripper in Magic Mike. Mysteriously, all of these roles ended up on the cutting-room floor.
Will Ferrell Is a Comedic Genius
Why is Will Ferrell the winner of the Comedic Genius award? His performances in Anchorman and Old School, sure. His brilliant years on Saturday Night Live, absolutely. His years of hit films, yes. And now, for strutting onto the MTV Movie Awards stage wearing a dollar-bill-print suit and saying this: “I’m just a simple guy from Irvine, California, who had two basic dreams. First, to one day hopefully make people laugh. The other dream: to wake up every day and dress myself exactly like Dennis Rodman.”
Rebel Wilson Wins Best Breakthrough ... and a Zac Efron Kiss
Rebel Wilson beat poor Quvenzhané Wallis for the Best Breakthrough, saying, “The only thing that would make this better is if Zac Efron took off his shirt right now and came and kissed me.” Efron granted just one of Rebel’s wishes and also demurred at her third request: “Zac, do you want to give me an Australian kiss now? It’s like a French kiss, but down under.”
Selena Gomez’s Belly Dancing ‘Come and Get It’ Performance
Spring Breakers is no longer the most absurd thing Selena Gomez has done this year.
Jamie Foxx Gives a Typically Meandering Acceptance Speech
Jamie Foxx won the Generation award. Also, he pimped out his daughter, who is 19 years old and single.
‘The Avengers’ Wins Best Movie
Defeating Ted, The Dark Knight Rises, Django Unchained, and Silver Linings Playbook, The Avengers is this year’s Best Movie. That puts Marvel’s superhero flick alongside esteemed comedies like There’s Something About Mary, Napoleon Dynamite, Transformers, and all four Twilight movies. Well done, Hulk.