Entertainment

Juiciest ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ Rumors (and Some Debunked Ones)

LOST JEDI

No Lando? Jesse Pinkman is Han Solo? An examination of some of the rumors surrounding the newest entry in the Star Wars canon.

UNCONFIRMED

Aaron Paul may play a young Han Solo in the first Star Wars spin-off.

On Christmas, MakingStarWars.net reported that friend to Bojack Horseman and magnet aficionado Aaron Paul is “looking to be attached” to the project, codenamed “Luminac Industrial Goods.” The report also said filming of the movie will overlap with The Force Awakens and center on young Han Solo’s adventures. The editor-in-chief of the site said he was unable to confirm the rumors, but that they were delivered by “a friend” who provided “legit... set photos and more.”

Luke Skywalker is an evil robot who has fallen to the dark side of the force.

Darth Vader’s possible robotishness is one of the oldest Star Wars rumors and appeared for the first time following the release of the original Star Wars in 1977. In a list of former Star Wars rumors, Hollywood.com said contemporary fans believed the David Prowse played villain to be all machine because “he’s completely concealed in armor” and the Sith Lord’s “heavy-footed gait has a metallic clank.” Rumors about a possible evil robotic Luke Skywalker hit the Internet when BadassDigest.com contributed a rumor that the new Star Wars film will open not with a spaceship flying overhead, but a disembodied hand falling through space and holding Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber.

Star Wars will be rated PG-13

Only one other Star Wars film has earned a PG-13 rating, the 2005 prequel Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. The rest have been PG. However, first time Star Wars director J.J. Abrams has never made a film with any other rating. Considering how fans reacted to the childishness of the early prequels, and the unlikelihood of seeing a fully clothed Luke Skywalker/Han Solo makeout session that would scare an R rating out of the uptight MPAA, the next Star Wars will be dark like a thirteen-year-old’s bedroom.

Pussy Riot will be in the new movie, possibly as a Cantina Band

During a round of press interviews at last winter’s Berlin Film Festival, Pussy Riot members Maria Alyoshina and Nadezhda Tolokonnikova hinted at offers to appear in an upcoming film, but were unable to say “from whom” because “nothing is agreed.” The Independent, quoted the duo as saying “we have some offers but we cannot say anything at the moment.”

Billy Dee Williams is one of the few original cast members who won’t appear in the sequels.

In his book, How Star Wars Conquered the Universe, author Chris Taylor said George Lucas was initially reluctant to hire James Earl Jones because the director was worried it would smack of tokenism. The concern had apparently dissipated by the time The Empire Strikes Back went into production because veteran actor Billy Dee Williams was recruited to play the galaxy far, far away’s only man of color in the character of Lando Calrissian. And yet while many of the original cast have been confirmed as returning for the new film, The Root pointed out that Williams’s name has yet to appear in any official announcements.

Obviously, not all the original cast can come back or even have the desire. Wedge Antilles and Ewan McGregor uncle Dennis Lawson turned down the opportunity to reprise his role because he found the prospect boring. David Prowse, the actor who portrayed Darth Vader, wished to come back but had to turn down the role because of ill health. But to make a new series of films and deliberately exclude the man who blew up the second Death Star would be like a million voices crying out in terror being suddenly silenced.

All Star Wars rumors are bunkum.

In a recent interview with Yahoo Movies about his upcoming film A Most Violent Year, actor Oscar Isaac, turned his attention to Star Wars rumors saying: “And also, the [plot theories] that get that formulated based on these things—they couldn’t be more far off-base.” The name of Isaac’s Force Awakens character was confirmed via a set of promotional trading cards as Poe Dameron.

Hugo Reyes has already watched the film in the future, written a new/better script, and then gone back in time and delivered it to J.J. Abrams.

Having no affinity for the prequel trilogy because of its release during his time trapped on a magical island, Hugo “Hurley” Reyes, nostalgic for the Star Wars of his youth, originally went back in time and helped Lawrence Kasdan make The Empire Strikes Back into what is arguably the best Star Wars film of the first two trilogies. With the ability to leave the Island for the 2015 release of The Force Awakens, Hugo saw the new films in an alternate timeline that we have yet to experience, travelled back in time again, and again assisted Kasdan in crafting the new trilogy.

DEBUNKED

The sequels will contain anything from the Expanded Universe.

Kyle Katarn and Mara Jade fans everywhere were heartbroken when screenwriter Simon Kinberg told The Hollywood Reporter the new Star Wars movies would ignore the Expanded Universe. And while some remain optimistic that the new films will complement rather than destroy the decades of professional level fan-fic, there is now less hope than ever for a Max Rebo backstory in the sequel’s or spin-offs.

Obi-Wan Kenobi will turn out to be Luke Skywalker’s REAL father.

Ever since Darth Vader revealed himself as Luke Skywalker’s father, disbelieving Star Wars fans have done mental gymnastics to confirm Luke’s protest to the contrary. Because the character played by Alec Guinness and Ewan McGregor was often loose with the truth, it made sense that his interest in training Luke as a Jedi, and deliberate paternal misdirection, were clues to a deeper mystery. The rumor popped up again during the prequel releases when fans theorized Anakin Skywalker would turn to the Dark Side of the Force because of a love triangle with Obi-Wan and Padme. Almost forty years later, it seems unlikely this will ever be the case.

Han Solo dies.

Another rumor that has existed since before The Empire Strikes Back was released. David Prowse even intimated as much to Starlog magazine in a 1979 interview about the sci-fi trilogy (before also revealing that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker’s father which DID turn out to be true). While the new films may have put Harrison Ford in the hospital, even the Grim Reaper was forced to accede the actor’s invincibility after watching him survive Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

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