Saturday Night Live opened in Trump Tower this week, where Darrell Hammond’s Donald Trump was on the phone with a reporter who was having trouble believing he was actually a publicist named Joey Pepperoni. “No, I am not Donald Trump in disguise,” he said. “This is just what classy people sound like, OK?”
But then, moving on to more pressing matters, Bobby Moynihan’s Chris Christie showed up to help the presumptive Republican nominee pick his running mate. They openly laughed at the idea of Jeb Bush taking the job, and Trump wondered why women look up to Carly Fiorina when she is a “b-cup tops.” When Christie proposed a “guy from a swing state, Florida, who’s half-Hispanic and has a proven track record of sticking up for himself,” Trump replied, “George Zimmerman?”
After his suggestion of Bruce Springsteen got shot down, and Trump realized that most major Republican figures in the country had already said they have no interest in going anywhere near him, Christie formally steered the search in the direction of himself.
“It doesn’t make sense,” Trump whined. “Why doesn’t anyone want to be my VP?”
“If I may be so bold. Sir, anyone who didn’t want to be your VP would be a damn fool,” Christie said. “You are such a special candidate. And maybe, just maybe the person you have been looking for the whole time is standing in this room right now.”
“You are so right,” Trump said, looking past Christie to the man who no longer heads up his vetting team. Ben Carson, want to be vice president?”
