Just in time for Halloween, the long-dead Pussy Posse has returned to haunt Lavo bathrooms and modeling agencies from coast to coast. Leonardo DiCaprio and his band of merry man-children last surfaced at the 2016 Oscars, where DiCaprio celebrated his long-awaited recognition from The Academy. And like all accomplished, Academy Award-winning actors, DiCaprio brought a gang of boisterous adult bros to celebrate with him.
DiCaprio’s after-party dates (no homo!!) included old friends Lukas Haas, Tobey Maguire, and Vincent Laresca. The recently rebranded gang took the opportunity to advertise their new name, chanting, “Wolf Pack, Wolf Pack, Wolf Pack!” The posse formerly known as pussy engaged in typical forty-something-year-old man activities: ritualistic chanting, screaming the name of their friend group, and passing back puffs of Leo’s “vaping pipe.” According to one doubtlessly charmed partygoer, “The crew was literally howling like wolves all night.”
Of course, present day DiCaprio is a far cry from the hard partying ‘90s heartthrob of his youth—he has a beard now. Accordingly, after a lackluster night of howling at the moon and vaping, the Wolf Gang returned to their regularly scheduled programming as husbands and fathers. But all that changed this October, when Maguire, an original Pussy Posse member, announced his divorce from his wife of nine years, Jennifer Meyer. Nothing says make The Pussy Posse great again quite like the phrase “newly single Tobey Maguire.”
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Yes, ladies: Spider-Man is single, 41 years old, and grabbing life by The Pussy Posse. The father of two has apparently been seen “with and without Leo” hitting L.A.’s clubs for months, bromantically following in the footsteps of his BFF. In late July, DiCaprio hosted a pre-split Maguire on his private yacht in Ibiza, where he doubtlessly regaled his guest with tales of picking up 21-year-olds at CW casting calls. Now, the siren call of spending weeknights at 1Oak has proven too tempting to resist. Just weeks before Maguire’s divorce went public, he was spotted at the nightclub partying with 18-year-old Sofia Richie (who is not Bronte Blampied, who is a real person). Maguire, who would be old enough to be Richie’s father if her father wasn’t Lionel Richie, was photographed whispering in the young model’s ear.
Coached by the infamously lecherous Leo, Maguire is living every man’s dream: to spend decades building a career and a family in the hopes of one day being able to shout at an Instagram-famous 18-year-old over the din of an endless Avicii track. Tabloid gossip aside, Maguire and Meyer’s split was in the works for “many months”; a source told Page Six that “These two people are the best of friends, there is no third party involved and there is no animosity. He’s just going to clubs with Leo — that’s what’s happening.”
Of course, our fascination with Maguire’s recent residency at 1Oak has little to do with his romantic status, and a whole lot more to do with The Pussy Posse’s potential resurrection. The Pussy Posse was Entourage on E: more fame, more entitlement, and more magic (I see you, David Blaine). The original celebrity collective spanned the A to C-list spectrum, including Lukas Haas, Maguire, Harmony Korine, Blaine, Jay Ferguson, Josh Miller, Ethan Suplee, Kevin Connolly, Scott Bloom, and Justin Herwick. They were immortalized in writer Nancy Jo Sales’s 1998 New York profile, “Leo, Prince of the City,” a lurid tale of nightclubs, stink bombs, and metaphorical circle jerks. Or in the then-words of DiCaprio himself: “If I want to go to a party with a few male friends, it doesn’t mean I’m gay!”
When they weren’t busy protecting their fragile, fragile masculinity, Leo and Co. behaved like budget Justin Biebers, breaking into Victoria’s Secret events, taking impromptu trips to Vegas, and throwing grapes at paparazzi. They also cultivated a truly toxic reputation for misogyny, racking up rumors of lecherous behavior, harassment, and untipped strippers. These unsavory urges found an artistic outlet in Don’s Plum, a low-budget movie starring, produced, written, and directed by the posse. The largely improvised film, which features DiCaprio telling a crying girl to “Stop looking at me like that—I’ll fucking throw a bottle at your face, you goddamn whore,” was ultimately undermined by Maguire’s management.
According to producer David Stuntman’s eventual lawsuit, “Maguire and his manager had determined that, in the Film, Maguire did not come off as strong a ‘leading man’ as DiCaprio and that some of the improvisational comments Maguire had made during the Film revealed personal experiences or tendencies that would undermine the public image he and his manager were trying to project”—that of a rising star who doesn’t aid and abet battery. While Maguire and DiCaprio successfully used their influence to squash distribution, Don’s Plum is readily available on YouTube, and inarguably more fun to watch than The Revenant.
While auxiliary members of the Pussy Posse may come and go, DiCaprio and Maguire are forever. DiCaprio lovingly described their meet cute to Esquire, recalling, “When I want someone to be my friend, I just make them my friend.” When a 12-year-old DiCaprio spotted Maguire on set, “I literally jumped out of the car. I was like, ‘Tobey! Tobey! Hey! Hey! And he was like, ‘Oh, yeah—I know you. You’re… that guy.’ But I just made him my pal.” As posse members have routinely fallen victim to monogamy and maturity, DiCaprio has become the last man standing. Unencumbered by a family or any desire to date women over the age of 25, DiCaprio has pushed the Pussy Posse mentality into the 21st century. As a lifelong bachelor, DiCaprio has dedicated his life to wacky hijinks, like being tangentially linked to a multi-billion-dollar Malaysian corruption scandal. He’s traveled the world on behalf of his environmental charity, and has even consulted with President Obama about his plan to travel to Mars in search of new 18 to 24-year-old life forms.
But if there’s one thing Leonardo DiCaprio has been missing, especially now that he has an Oscar, it’s a BFF to share his man cave with. And Maguire, with his newly single status and his woefully under-publicized side gig as a tournament poker player, is just the bro for the job. With these two heading up the Pussy Posse revitalization mission—and in this very year of the pussy— there’s no telling how far this reunion will go. Will DiCaprio and Maguire start renting a bachelor pad above 1Oak? Will they become Snapchat friends with Sofia Richie, or start prank calling Nancy Jo Sales? Can David Blaine come? Only time, and TMZ, will tell.
