On Tuesday evening, the news site BuzzFeed made the controversial decision to publish a 35-page dossier filled with what they called “explosive” and “unverified” allegations about President-elect Donald Trump. They did so after a CNN story surfaced maintaining that President Obama and President-elect Trump had been briefed on a two-page version of the report.
The unsubstantiated report, which claimed, among other things, that members of the Trump team maintained direct contact with Russian government representatives during the campaign and that the Kremlin had a cache of kinky blackmail on the president-elect—including purported video of a group of prostitutes performing a “golden shower” routine for Trump so as to defile a bed once occupied by the Obamas—is alleged to have been compiled by Christopher Steele, a former MI6 agent turned director of the London-based company Orbis Business Intelligence.
A version of this report has been floating around in media circles for months, and the FBI is said to have had ahold of it over the summer. But the salacious allegations in the report haven’t been verified either by the intelligence community or the media, and members of the U.S. intelligence community have shot down one portion of the report concerning Trump attorney Michael Cohen visiting Prague to do business with the Kremlin.
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Trump, for his part, responded over his favorite medium:
And so, on Wednesday, Trump held his first press conference since July 27th—and first-ever as president-elect—where he dodged, obfuscated, and denied, saying he couldn’t possibly have witnessed a urine-soaked fiesta because he is a “germaphobe” (though in 2015, he told The Hollywood Reporter: “I’m not germaphobic”), called CNN “fake news” even though he is an outspoken fan of the conspiracy-theory website Infowars, and boasted about how he wouldn’t be divesting from his businesses, instead placing control of his empire in the hands of his two eldest sons—who, it stands to reason, will continue to advise their father throughout his presidency.
That evening, Late Night host Seth Meyers took on the whole ugly mess in a new segment titled “A Couple Things”—a truncated version of his popular “Closer Look” segment.
“BuzzFeed also reported on this story but handled it very differently, publishing the 35-page dossier that detailed the unverified allegations,” said Meyers. “And it’s worrisome to publish allegations like this without a shred of evidence. Look, nobody wants to believe that Trump paid Russian hookers to pee all over a bed more than I do, but there is zero proof that happened. Plus, I find it hard to believe that Trump actually paid somebody for services rendered.”“In all seriousness, I haven’t been this shocked by BuzzFeed since their quiz told me I was a Carrie when I am so obviously a Miranda,” he added.It’s worth noting here that, though they still publish plenty of listicles, BuzzFeed is a legitimate news organization staffed with many talented reporters that has published heaps of impressive work.
Then, Meyers took on other portions of Trump’s presser. “Today, Trump called these new reports ‘fake news,’ so despite an incredibly short run, I think it is time to retire that term,” he said. “It used to be one thing, but now everyone is using it for everything. ‘Fake news,’ as a term, is busted. It was like the first time you heard your dad say ‘fo shizzle’ and immediately thought, ‘Well, that’s over.’”
Finally, Meyers pointed out that Trump—who has appeared on (and praised, and regularly cited) the conspiracy site Infowars, which pushes 9/11 truther theories and believes that the U.S. government is poisoning our water to make us turn gay—doesn’t really have the moral high ground when it comes to bullshit.
“The irony, of course, is that Trump built his political career spreading a false—and outrageous—claim about President Obama, and continued making baseless allegations throughout the campaign,” said Meyers, referring to Trump’s four-year birther crusade, a racist attempt to delegitimize the first black president. “So when you hear Kellyanne Conway dismiss these allegations as ‘nonsense from the internet,’ you may think that’s a good defense, or you may also remember the times Trump said stuff like this.”
Meyers then ran a montage of Trump saying things like “forget the press—read the internet,” “I do get a lot of honesty over the internet,” and the kicker: “All I know is what’s on the internet.”
“So basically Trump has made his own bed and now he’s peeing in it,” joked Meyers.
“Allegedly.”
