Stephen Colbert: Trump Needs Stormy Daniels’ Money to Pay Divorce Lawyer

Stephen Colbert can’t quite believe he’s still talking about Stormy Daniels, but it’s not like he has a choice. “Just when you think there can’t be more presidential porn star news, suddenly there’s bumper crop,” the Late Show host, before joking that “Bump Her Crop” was one of Daniels’ most popular films.

The porn star, who allegedly had an affair with Donald Trump and was then paid off just before the 2016 election, has remained in the news despite the White House’s best efforts to keep the story quiet and distract the public.

Now, the White House is trying to stop 60 Minutes from airing its interview with Daniels this coming Sunday. “Huh, why would Donald Trump be scared of a show whose logo is a ticking clock slowly counting down the seconds until the time is up?” the host wondered.

Most recently, Daniels has indicated that she would be willing to return the $130,000 paid to her through Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen. “He might take it, because Trump’s gonna need that cash for his divorce lawyer,” Colbert joked.

If Trump were to accept the money, she would be free to speak openly about her experience and potentially even reveal any private message, photos, and/or videos of or from the president.

“Wait a minute, videos? Does that mean there’s a sex tape?” Colbert asked. “Will we soon see the release of Rail to the Chief: Donald Hump in the Oral Office? It’s over two minutes of hardcore action.”