Billy Mays: The Best Ever?
Seems like every time you’d turn on your television, Billy Mays would be there trying to sell you something. The master hawker attached his name to Orange Glo, Mighty Putty, OxiClean, Samurai Shark, and pretty much anything that slices, dices, and makes julienne fries. In this commercial, he shows off a mini hamburger station with his outsized enthusiasm, warmth and humor. (For more about the man, read one of the last interviews with Mays.)
Wow, Sham!
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So he had an unfortunate run-in with a prostitute. In some places, that puts you in the company of governors. Here’s Vince Shlomi, aka the ShamWow Guy, doing his thing with the Slap Chop and other products.
Susan Powter Stops the Insanity
Among the vapid denizens of infomercial hell, Powter stands out as a pitchwoman who’s smart, engaging, and funny.
But Wait, There's More!
This circa-1992 clip shows Ron Popeil of Ronco doing what he does best—invoking the fear of natural disasters to sell you useless kitchen gadgetry.
Richard Simmons Regrettably Shakes His Booty
We won’t lie. This clip of Richard Simmons boogying down haunts our nightmares.
Where’s Mr. Roper?
This commercial is for people who want toned legs like Three’s Company star Suzanne Somers, or who just like squeezing vises with their thighs.
She’s Not Nervous, Donald. She’s Just Laughing At Your Hair
Because Donald Trump was clearly hurting for money, he decided to try and sell lessons on How to Be Rich. Well, hey, good news, Don: We hear there’s a sucker born every minute.
The Juiceman Peddles Weeds
We want some of whatever Jay Kordich—a.k.a. The Juiceman—was high on when he made this infomercial in 1996. Oh, it was parsley? Nevermind.
Tony Little, Big Hair
We don’t know what makes this infomercial more uncomfortable to watch—the sight of Spandex-clad fitness guru Tony Little gyrating behind a model on his “Gazelle” body-sculpting machine, or his rather unfortunate haircut.
Someone Tell Batman the Riddler Escaped From Arkham
Matthew Lesko, better known as The Question Mark Guy, says there’s a way to get free money from the government, and apparently it doesn’t involve losing your investors’ money.
Do You Have to Have a PhD to Be a Video Professor?
We’re hoping John W. Scherer, a.k.a. The Video Professor, is working on a guide to using Google next, because that thing baffles us.
The Economy Gets the Billy Mays Treatment
Finally, in one of the weirder Fox News segments we’ve seen in a while—and that’s really saying something—Neil Cavuto has Billy Mays try his hand at pitching what Obama’s selling. Awesome.
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