Even after the exhausting, galling news cycle of the past four years, the election news cycle has risen to a class all its own. Donald Trump has already begun fundraising off the notion—read: lie—that an election that has not even been decided has been stolen for Joe Biden. Russian state media is apparently eagerly waiting for violence to erupt. And MAGA-crazed twerps have flooded a vote-counting site. (Imagine this writer screaming into a pillow here.)
For months since the pandemic began, many of us have been melting our brains by doomscrolling relentlessly throughout the day and night—and in the presidential race, we’ve now found our Olympics. After all, until this thing is over, what is there to do but impotently refresh Twitter and eat our way through our local grocery store’s snack aisle? But every now and again, maybe—just perhaps—it would be good to take a break. If it’s time for a distraction, try one of these movies and shows, all of which just hit their respective streaming platforms.
Ocean’s Eleven
It’s hard to think of a more soothing balm for our current hellscape than the Steven Soderbergh classic that got a new generation obsessed with heist movies. How can you go wrong with a devastatingly charming George Clooney, plus a ceaselessly snacking Brad Pitt? And that’s saying nothing about the pitch-perfect performances from Andy Garcia, Matt Damon, Carl Reiner, Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac, and...the list goes on. I’m not a doctor, but I’m positive that final shot of the crew’s group hang in front of the Bellagio fountain always reduces my blood pressure. (Now on Netflix)
The Blair Witch Project
Or perhaps you’d like to be terrified by something that isn’t our democracy? After all, it hasn’t been that long since Halloween. In that case, how about the shaky-cam, snot-filled indie film that reshaped horror for decades to come? Join Heather Donahue and her merry trio of film students as they wander the woods freaking out about cairns and stick figures strung up from trees and let those worries about the Electoral College melt away. (Now on Hulu)
Practical Magic
Like the Alice Hoffman novel upon which it is based, Practical Magic is like a warm blanket in the autumn, a witchy romance grounded in familial love. Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman shine as two supernaturally gifted sisters whose aunts Frances and Jet—delightfully played by Stockard Channing and Dianne Wiest—raised them to embrace their wildness and weirdness. Grab a midnight margarita and immerse yourself in the magical realism. (Now on HBO Max)
Easy A
Another option: an acerbic, raucously-funny comedy starring not only an early-career Emma Stone as Olive, the unshakeable girl pretending to boff every boy at her high school, but also the brilliantly cast Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson as her parents. Add in a career-best performance from Amanda Bynes as her Bible-thumping nemesis, Marianne, and you’ve got a solid escapist watch. (Now on Netflix)
The Prestige
Who needs Tenet when we’ve got Christopher Nolan’s most fun movie right here? For that matter, who needs anything else when Nolan gave us a movie about dueling Victorian magicians—guest starring David Bowie as Nikola Tesla!—all the way back in 2006? (Now on Hulu)
Rick and Morty Season 4
Maybe TV’s favorite mad, drunken scientist can transport us all to another dimension—but then again, Rick and his timid grandson’s adventures often do not land in places one might actually like to go. Either way, the irreverent, surrealistic sci-fi show is certainly engrossing enough to keep even the most anxious mind somewhere else for at least a couple hours. (Now on Hulu)
13 Going on 30
Just you try and frown while watching a hyper-bubbly Jennifer Garner show her Razzle-red tongue to an unbearably adorable Mark Ruffalo! It will not work. Everything about 13 Going on 30—from the blinding early-aughts fashion to quotable lines like “I want to be 30, flirty, and thriving!”—has only become more amusing with age. Add in spectacularly manic performances from Andy Serkis and Judy Greer and you’ve got the makings of a good, distracting night. (Now on HBO Max)
I Know What You Did Last Summer
Does anyone even remember a time before Johnny Galecki was inextricably linked in our minds to The Big Bang Theory? Although it never hit the highs of its screenwriter Kevin Williamson’s previous release, Scream, the film did unite teen icons Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, and Freddie Prinze Jr. for a perfectly amusing, if more conventional, slasher romp. For those with a nostalgic tether to the film, it’s an endlessly re-watchable, brain-numbing triumph—and for those who haven’t, a warning: You’ll never look at crabs the same way again. (Now on Amazon Prime)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
There’s also something to be said, in these ugliest of times, for immersing oneself in sheer beauty—and for that, there are few better picks than Ang Lee’s Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The heavily awarded film—which won, among many other accolades, Best Foreign Language Film at the 2001 Oscars—set off Hollywood’s fascination with wuxia films in the decade that followed, as Zhang Yimou targeted Hero, House of Flying Daggers, and Curse of the Golden Flower to the international market. Plus, why not spend a couple hours with a flying, fighting Michelle Yeoh? (Now on Amazon Prime)
Romancing the Stone
Danny DeVito alone makes this Robert Zemeckis romance spoof worth watching—and if he doesn’t do it, a swoon-worthy Michael Douglas sure does. Kathleen Turner’s throaty, lustful performance as hopeless romantic, devout cat person, and romance novelist Joan Wilder is superb—as is Holland Taylor, however briefly, as her trusty editor. From Joan’s addiction to airplane-sized bottles of liquor to the mustachioed Zack Norman’s very specific way of saying “Look at those snappers,” this one’s worth rewatching again and again. (Now on Amazon Prime)
Friday the 13th
Just in case you’re really not through with Halloween, you can always revisit Camp Crystal Lake, one of the horror season’s most common sources of marathon fodder. (Now on HBO Max)
28 Days Later
And for those who prefer zombies to machete-wielding dudes (and mothers) in hockey masks, there’s also the movie that dared to ask, “But what if we made them fast?” (Now on Amazon Prime)
The Fast & the Furious
At this point, are we not all living our lives a quarter-mile at a time? Sure, the original Fast film is downright quaint next to the sequels that would follow—but from the very beginning, Vin Diesel knew what he was doing. The earnestness and relatively small scale of The Fast & the Furious are, in fact, what make it such a warm and fascinating watch in retrospect, given the globe-trotting, skyscraper-jumping heights the franchise would later reach. (Now on HBO Max)
We Bought a Zoo
This, dear readers, is where I make a confession. I am almost positive I have seen We Bought a Zoo; at the mention of the title, my mind’s eye can conjure a faint memory of perhaps (maybe?!) watching it from my mother’s couch. But for the life of me, I could not tell you a single thing that happens—apart from, well, the obvious. And frankly, in these absurd and horrible times, it seems like a good time to find out what happens when Matt Damon buys a zoo. So I... think I’m about to watch We Bought a Zoo?! If you want, you can, too. (Now on HBO Max)
