Saturday Night Live season finales tend to be elaborate, star-studded affairs. And they managed to make that the case even this year with all of the cast members still broadcasting from their respective homes, along with guests stars like Kristen Wiig, Martin Short and more.
Two weeks after Brad Pitt debuted his effortlessly charming Dr. Anthony Fauci impression, the final—with any luck—episode of SNL at Home opened with a Zoom graduation featuring a commencement address from Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump, who somehow got ahold of a “Make America Great Again” hat at his Hamptons house.
“I’m so honored to be your vale-dictator,” he told the students. “But today’s not about me. It’s about you. Although I should spend a little time on me first, because I’ve been treated very poorly, even worse than they treated Lincoln.”
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“You’re actually lucky to be graduating right now there are so many exciting new jobs out there, like grocery store bouncer, cam-girl, porch pirate, amateur nurse and coal,” Trump continued. “Don’t forget about coal. It’s in the ground, and you just dig down and grab it.”
When someone shouted, “We want Fauci!” Trump shot back, “Sure, everyone loves Fauci. And don’t you hate when these elite medical experts tell you what to do?” After chugging down some bleach, he added, “Good old invincibility juice.”
“Look, I’m going to be honest with you guys. I know this is hard. So I’m going to give you some real advice,” Trump said as the graduates left the Zoom meeting one by one. “Believe in yourselves and you can achieve anything. Look at me. I started as the son of a simple wealthy slumlord and grew to become a billionaire, a president, and the world’s leading expert on infectious diseases.”
“Surround yourself with the worst people you can find, that way you’ll always shine,” he continued. “If you don’t understand something, just call it stupid. Never wear sunscreen. And live every day like it’s your last. Because we’re going to let this virus run wild. This virus that, remember, was started in a lab in Obama.”
He left them with one of his favorite inspirational quotes: “Reach for the stars, because if you’re a star, they’ll let you do it.”
Breaking character, Baldwin concluded by teasing that this time, he might actually be done playing the president on TV. “And taped from my home, one last time,” he said, “it’s Saturday night.”
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