TV

Amy Poehler and Seth Meyers Roast Billionaire Space ‘Dicks’ Bezos and Branson

‘REALLY!?!’

“I think we all understand the obsession with the rockets, right?” Poehler asked. “Even Freud is like, you don’t need me for this, right?”

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NBC

Seth Meyers still doesn’t have a live audience, but he did have some company on Tuesday night when his old “Weekend Update” co-anchor Amy Poehler joined him for yet another round of “Really!?! with Seth and Amy.”

Their target this time was Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos, and any other billionaires who might be considering shooting themselves into space instead of paying taxes or their workers a fair wage.

“Really, billionaires?!” Meyers asked. “This is what you’re going to do with your unprecedented fortunes and influence, drag-race to outer space?”

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Poehler said she misses the “old billionaires” who wore top hats and ate caviar by the handful, when “all these new guys do is intermittent fasting and learn Krav Maga so they can dodge all those taxes.” Women aren’t going to space, she pointed out, “because we have to fix all the things, we have shit to do down here!”

“I think we all understand the obsession with the rockets, right?” she asked. “Really, the rockets are dicks, the skyscrapers are dicks. Even Freud is like, you don’t need me for this, right?”

Meyers then wondered what these billionaires know that the rest of us don’t, calling it “a little concerning” that they are all “racing” to leave Earth. “I mean, I know it was 130 degrees in Death Valley and the ocean was on fire last week, but is there more? What are you not telling us?!”

By the end, the SNL alums were losing it over the prospect that all this space exploration was going to open up a black hole and Bezos, Branson, and the rest would try to pin the bill for fixing it on taxpayers. “So, really, stay out of space!”

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