Six days after the attempted assassination of Donald Trump, famous atheist Bill Maher is already sick of the latest wave of religious fervor around him.
“Since the bullet that was meant for Donald Trump missed him last Saturday, Republicans have been indulging in an orgy of magical thinking,” Maher said in his “New Rules” segment Friday. He referenced a post from right-wing YouTuber Jake Paul referring to Trump as “one of God’s angels,” along with a picture shared by Rep. Maria Elvira Salazar which depicted God guiding the bullet away from the former president.
Maher added: “Steve Scalise said, ‘Yesterday there were miracles, and I think the hand of God was there too.’ Steve was also shot, but God was having an off day.”
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“America doesn’t need a demigod,” Maher continued, later adding, “MAGA Nation, because they are religious by nature and given to magical thinking, have been trending towards demigod worship for a while now… But Trump didn’t survive the attempt on his life because of divine intervention. He survived because a virgin couldn’t hit the fattest president since Taft.”
“And again, make no mistake, I’m glad he couldn’t. But Trump is alive because he’s the single luckiest motherfucker who ever lived. His whole life is a string of ‘You gotta be fucking kidding me’s,’” Maher said.
The Real Time host recapped Trump’s absurdly lucky life, including how he inherited a fortune from his father and got away with tax fraud, and how he’s outlived Richard Simmons despite rarely exercising or eating healthy. Maher finished his rant by bringing up the shooter again.
“Look, I fervently hope that nobody ever shoots at Trump or any candidate, but if you have to have someone do it, it’s kind of lucky to have it be the world’s biggest loser. And it all just makes religious-minded people see Trump as something preterhuman now, when in reality, he puts his pants on one leg at a time, after sex with a porn star.”
Maher concluded, “You want to vote for him? Fine. But don’t pray to him—he’s already all in on being godlike.” He brought up how Trump recently bragged to the New York Post, “The doctor at the hospital… called it a miracle. I’m not supposed to be here. I’m supposed to be dead.”
“Yeah, so is Dick Cheney,” Maher replied. “But karma isn’t cooperating, and karma isn’t a thing.”
