The assistant coach of a college bowling team gave a jaw-dropping account of why he had an affair with one of the team’s student-athletes that led to his resignation.
Steve Lemke, 38, chose to resign from his position at Stephen F. Austin State University in Texas rather than be fired over the incident, according to a report in Nacogdoches’ Daily Sentinel newspaper Tuesday. He also described how his wife—who is the bowling team’s head coach—uncovered his extramarital activities.
“I knew it was kind of a no-no but there’s not a rule saying it can’t happen,” Steve Lemke said of the affair. “There’s not a law saying I’m going to go to jail for doing something like this. There’s nothing in stone. I guess it’s just an ethics code, like we frown upon it, but there’s no rule, there’s no law broken.”
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The local newspaper did not reveal the identity of the athlete with whom he had the affair, saying only that she was a member of the bowling team that Steve Lemke and his wife, Amber Lemke, coached. Steve speculated that the scandal may have been “amplified to the magnitude that it is now because of the national championship caliber that we’ve developed.” The bowling team was NCAA champion in 2016 and 2019, and was runner-up in 2022.
“I think it’s more of an ethics thing when it comes to the college as far as a coach/teacher being with a student-athlete,” he added. Both he and the bowler in question are consenting adults, the Daily Sentinel reported, meaning that their relationship would not have been illegal according to state law.
SFA’s director of athletics, Ryan Ivey, said the affair had breached the school’s rules concerning relationships, however. “He’s not working here anymore,” Ivey told the paper. “From a departmental standpoint, he had a choice and he chose to resign.”
Steve said his affair with the student was uncovered after Amber spotted a text from her on Steve’s phone. “It didn’t have anything in detail,” Steve said of the message. “It was just about how amazing I am, basically, in general perspective. Amber saw that and questioned me and I got to the point where it just built up so much that I basically told her the truth after she dug through my phone.”
He also grumbled about balancing his involvement with the team and his home life. Amber was hired as the school’s bowling head coach in the 2011-12 academic year and Steve served as volunteer assistant until he was formally hired as an assistant coach in 2019.
“I was the stay-at-home dad for five years with the kids while Amber got to go off and coach the team and when she’d get back, I’d run practices on top of taking care of the kids while she was back,” Steve said. “When they’d travel again, I would sit back and take care of the kids.”
“Then when I got hired on, she almost forced me to run practices,” he added. “I was a volunteer the entire time before that trying to help out Amber. Once I got hired on, one thing stemmed from another. I felt like I was doing too much for what I was being valued at.”
Amber Lemke is set to stay on as the bowling team’s head coach, but the student who had an affair with her husband won’t return. Steve and Amber have reportedly filed for divorce.
