In 2014, Iggy Azalea burst onto the rap scene with her best Southern blaccent, flipping her long blonde hair and trying her darnedest not to sound like a white girl from Australia. Three years later, with Azalea seizing her destiny as a problematic punchline, Danielle Bregoli has emerged to take her place. The spirit of gangsta white girls is, unfortunately, alive and well—reincarnated in the Instagram stories and SoundCloud mixtapes of young women who currently work at Hollister but truly believe themselves to be in the murda bidness.
Of course, not every Becky can ink a record deal, and it takes a certain special something to elevate a social media influencer or AAVE enthusiast on to the Billboard Hot 100. Iggy’s X-factor was the novelty of watching a model-esque blonde Aussie transform into a cheap T.I. impersonator; Danielle Bregoli’s is a viral appearance on Dr. Phil. Bregoli’s celebrity speaks to the power of the Internet; after espousing a series of catchphrases on Dr. Phil, “Cash Me Outside” girl just kept on trending. Much like her visibly exhausted mother, the world quickly resigned itself to Bregoli’s continued presence. The then-13-year-old proceeded to make up for the decade or so she had wasted not being featured on TMZ, attacking fellow airplane passengers, hanging around outside of Hollywood hotspots, and premiering her own line of “Cash Me Outside” merch. Bregoli’s graduation from surly tween to surly tween with her own line of signature merch was monitored by her many fans, including her 11.3 million Instagram followers. After starring in a Kodak Black music video, it was only a matter of time before the pre-teen jumpstarted her own career. So it should come as no surprise that Danielle Bregoli just signed a deal with Atlantic Records—home of Bruno Mars, Wiz Khalifa, Cardi B and, now, the girl who Dr. Phil once called “the baddest bitch on the street.”
Bregoli’s big break can be attributed to the success of her debut single, “These Heaux” (it’s French). As her publicist has breathlessly announced, “The viral sensation’s viral sensation peaked at #1 on Spotify’s Viral US and Global Charts, briefly outpacing Taylor Swift’s ‘Look What You Made Me Do.’” That’s right—Taylor Swift’s new single was so atrocious that, for a brief period of time, more people were listening to the “Cash Me Outside” girl trying to rhyme “hoe” with “hoe.” Taylor: look what you made us do.
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This week, Bregoli’s track debuted on the Billboard Hot 100, stabilizing at #77 and making Danielle Bregoli AKA Bhad Bhabie the youngest female rapper to appear on the charts, as well as one of a small handful of Internet stars who’s managed to successfully monetize her own meme-hood.
Bregoli’s appeal is far easier to understand than Bregoli herself. The name Bhad Bhabie is as clear an indication as any that Bregoli is at least subconsciously cognizant of the ideals of white girlhood that she’s subverting. The would-be rapper’s gimmick is being a white 14-year-old who raps and fronts like a certain subset of SoundCloud artists.
The music video for “These Heaux” is three predictable minutes of hip-hop clichés and aggressively pointing at the camera with three-inch long acrylics. Having made her way up to an L.A. rooftop in white short shorts and a matching white hoodie, Bregoli proceeds to rap about the hoes that she is not like—those “fake flossing” hoes that “feed off attention.” Against the sounds of Bregoli’s auto-tune heavy track, we see a woman in a bandeau top and sweatpants getting lip and butt injections, a clear allusion to reality TV star Kylie Jenner. Bregoli previously beefed with the youngest Kardashian—does it still count as beef if Kylie Jenner probably doesn’t know who Danielle Bregoli is?—telling Power 106 that Jenner is trying to get attention “so bad.” “How do you go from fucking lips the size of a twig and a body that looks like a fucking paperclip and now you look like a hourglass? Like man, what the fuck?!” Bregoli continued, “Bitch come meet me at the Roosevelt. Wassup? I'm right here.”
Of course, when one party is just living their (albeit most likely cosmetically enhanced) life and the other is going off on random celebrities, it begs the question of who is really feeding off attention. While Danielle Bregoli is clearly pulling out all the stops to stay relevant, her hypocritical publicity campaign is clearly working. Turns out, insulting other stars is a really good way to squat in the spotlight. Like the time when Bregoli randomly tweeted “Fuck you @souljaboy,” and the rapper replied, “Fuck you too ugly little bitch.” Bregoli shut the rapper down with a simple and concise “I made more money this week than you did last year”—which, given the reportedly multi-million dollar deal she just signed, might actually be true.
Basically, Bregoli is poised to make a bunch of money with a ripped-off rap approach— “These Heaux” could be a track by any number of semi-famous rappers with Lil in their names, albeit with much higher production value. Unfortunately, with all of the ascendant rappers Bhad Bhabie could have aligned herself with, she’s chosen to associate herself with the work of Kodak Black and XXXTentacion—two rappers infamous for facing allegations of sexual assault and domestic battery, respectively. Clearly it’s dark days for the world of hip-hop, with accused abusers and 14-year-old Bhabies ruling the charts. Unfortunately, at this point, it seems like Daniele Bregoli, with her blaccent, inexplicable record deal, and rented Rolls-Royce, is here to stay.
