Chrissy Teigen took to Instagram Wednesday to complain about backlash she received in recent months that left her feeling unloved on the internet. The model and cookbook author wrote that she had been “sick of herself all day,” that she knew she had done wrong, and that she missed her online friends and fans: “Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a whollllle lot. Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks… I can’t do this silent shit anymore!” Sentiment towards Teigen began to sour in earnest after Courtney Stodden revealed to The Daily Beast that Teigen told Stodden to kill themself in private messages. Others then mounted similar accusations against Teigen, who quit Twitter in March, deleting an account with millions of followers before returning after three weeks.