As of Monday night, America’s late-night hosts have been trapped doing their shows from home for six straight weeks. Like the rest of us, they are understandably starting to lose their minds. Donald Trump’s insane theory about injecting disinfectant may have finally driven them over the edge.
First out of the gate was Trevor Noah, who said the president “created shockwaves of stupidity with his latest and probably greatest unlicensed medical opinion yet.”
“This is maybe the first time in documented history that we’ve seen someone not thinking, out loud,” The Daily Show host said from his couch. If you’re “some random guy on the internet with 12 followers,” then Noah said, “You can say shit like this and it really doesn’t matter. But Donald Trump is not just some random guy. Donald Trump was the star of The Celebrity Apprentice. People listen to what he says!”
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In response to reports that people were calling their local health departments to ask if it was safe to inject themselves with disinfectant, the host joked, “That means that even the people who are dumb enough to drink bleach are still smart enough not to trust something Donald Trump said.”
After playing the clip of Trump’s comments on The Late Show, Stephen Colbert said, “He’s suggesting injecting bleach to fight coronavirus. It’s not enough that his supporters are all white on the outside.”
Focusing in on the president’s excuse that he was actually being “sarcastic,” Colbert said, “Oh, yeah, Trump is famous for his sarcastic comments, like this one.” He then cut to Trump’s oath to “preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”
Later, after reporting Trump’s decision to cancel and then uncancel Monday’s press briefing, the host added, “That flipped so fast, I got whiplash. I’ll be fine. I’ll inject some bleach into my spine. But strategically, I think this is a good move. Because you don’t want last Thursday to be the final impression of these briefings. ‘Everybody drink poison. Donny T. out!’”
“The Tide Pods appear to be turning on President Wackadoodle,” Jimmy Kimmel said in his monologue Monday night, before asking, “Can we claim we were being sarcastic when we elected him president?”
“Unfortunately, many of those who support Trump are perfectly happy to ingest disinfectant products if the president tells them to do it,” the host added. He cited the Illinois Department of Health, which reported a spike in calls to poison control and Maryland Governor Larry Hogan who said his state saw “hundreds of calls to their emergency hotline asking if it was right to ingest Clorox or alcohol cleaning products.”
“I think this might be the first president ever to embarrass a cleaning product,” Kimmel joked.
And finally, there was a tour de force from Seth Meyers in his first “A Closer Look” segment since taking a week-long break.
“I’ve gotta be honest, when we went on hiatus a week ago, I did not expect that when I came back I’d be talking about the president suggesting using disinfectants and powerful lights to cure coronavirus,” the Late Night host said. “But then again, that’s on me. I should have expected it. We should all know by now that Trump will be more outlandish with each passing week because that’s his nature.”
“After the president said that psychotic thing in a White House briefing last week, he cycled through his usual series of obviously B.S. excuses, starting with the classic ‘I was just joking,’” Meyers added. “Because if there’s one thing that people want from leadership during a pandemic, it’s sarcasm. And that was me, using sarcasm.”
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