Recurring Daily Show co-host Desi Lydic began her Tuesday monologue by covering the viral story of the guest who had “catastrophic diarrhea” in Gwyneth Paltrow’s guest house—though it quickly became clear that she was really talking about President Joe Biden and the fallout from his disastrous debate performance late last month.
“It brings up an interesting question. When you shit the bed as visibly and as nationally as this guest did, should you stay in the house? Or is it time to leave?”
“I know that some people would say that the guest just had a bad night,” Lydic continued. “He’s a decent man with a lifetime of service as a house guest, and he’s earned the chance to stay and clean up his mess. But the thing is, we all know he shit the bed. We can’t unsee him shitting the bed. And now every time we see him, we’re going to be wondering, ‘Is he going to shit the bed again?’”
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“Uh, are we still talking about the house guest?” co-host Jordan Klepper asked.
“All I’m saying is,” Lydic replied, “Gwyneth has every right to be skeptical about inviting this house guest to stay over again for the next four years or so.”
When Klepper suggested that maybe it was “too late” for Gwyneth to find another “house guest,” Lydic snapped, “There’s plenty of time to get another house guest!”
Klepper raised the possibility that the next “house guest” might be even worse, and Lydic replied, “Maybe. But we should at least be honest about the bed-shitting instead of pretending that the bed was never shat in. Otherwise, we’re going to delude ourselves into thinking that this is the best house guest we can get, and now all of a sudden it’s January, and there’s a house guest that nobody wanted, and nobody in the house is allowed to get a goddamn abortion!”
“I’m almost certain we’re not talking about the house guest,” Klepper replied.
Lydic quickly confirmed: “No, we’re not.”
Much like Jon Stewart in his Monday monologue, neither Lydic nor Klepper seem to have much confidence in Biden’s re-election odds.
Klepper put a finer point on his critique during Tuesday’s segment: “So… Joe Biden shit the bed.”
