On Tuesday, former National Enquirer chief David Pecker testified for the second day in a row as the first witness in Donald Trump’s hush money trial. While the headlines practically write themselves, it turns out that having a Pecker on the stand wasn’t even the wildest part of this week so far.
As The Daily Show correspondents and this week’s co-hosts Jordan Klepper and Ronnie Chieng made clear, the most ridiculously entertaining part of the trial’s proceedings so far was Jesse Watters’ inane claims on Monday that Trump is being subjected to “cruel and unusual” punishment by having to be present at his own trial.
“Clearly Trump thinks he’s being treated unfairly in this trial,” explained Chieng on Tuesday, “and he’s not the only one.”
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That other someone? Watters, who declared the trial “pure evil” on The Five when asked to share his thoughts on how Trump’s trial seemed to be going.
“They had more allowances for Khalid Sheikh Mohammed,” Watters said when discussing the treatment Trump is receiving at the Lower Manhattan courthouse, and how it’s worse than what was afforded the alleged mastermind behind 9/11.
But Klepper, who joked that he had been kicked in the head by a horse last week, was willing to hear Watters out on the matter. For his part, Watters was adamant that Trump “needs exercise. He’s usually golfing. And so you’re going to put a man who’s almost 80 sitting in a room… on his butt for all that time? It’s unhealthy… he needs sunlight.”
“Are we talking about Donald Trump or an Old English Sheepdog?” Klepper wanted to know.
“Look, we all know how Donald Trump loves exercise,” chimed in Chieng. “Because of this trial, he’s been morbidly obese for the last 40 years.”
But Klepper and Chieng weren’t so sure that Trump would even want the sunshine or fresh air. “These actually sound like the punishments the judge would give Trump if he’s convicted,” said Klepper.
Chieng jokingly claimed to also have been kicked in the head by the same horse that attacked Klepper, so they let Watters continue his rant. Among his real gems? “This isn’t lawfare, it’s torture” and “They’re making a 77-year-old man sit inside a dingy room for eight hours straight, four days a week.” Which, to Klepper, simply sounded like “a job”—and a part-time one at that.
Still, Chieng and Klepper were still willing to hear Watters out. Which is when the Fox host complained that Trump on trial was a way to let “all the wackos” in the world know exactly when and where the former president was going to be on any given day. Which The Daily Show hosts determined is essentially the same as every other day.
“Yes, it’s very dangerous for people to know Trump’s exact location,” noted Chieng. “Which is why he lives in a nondescript building with his name on the front.”
“The Trump campaign also tells us where he’s going to be and exactly when,” added Klepper. “They’re called ‘Trump rallies’ and it’s how I know where to go to get yelled at.”
