Sex Education. Someone has to do it, but who? Whether it’s parents, the school system, or spiritual advisors, no one really knows who should take responsibility for these very necessary conversations, and no one is willing to take the reins. Heck, just last year the CDC gave America an 'F' in sex ed. Enter porn: it’s entertaining, accessible, and informative. Unfortunately, it isn’t entirely accurate—at least not in the educational sense.
Sure the sex is real, but the scenarios and behaviors are exaggerated for entertainment purposes. For example, slapping a girl on her bare ass and demanding the “bitch” pleasure you is not appropriate foreplay.
Porn is indeed fantasy but part of that fantasy is selling it as reality—much like reality TV. Real people sign contracts, give consent, talk about dos and don’ts, and then portray an elaborate version of themselves for the camera. Though most reality TV is staged and scripted, whether or not it counts as “real” is still debated among watchers. Similarly, porn scenes, whether scripted or not, are staged. This baffles some fans of the genre almost as much as it seems to confuse underage minds (who, legally speaking, shouldn’t be watching it in the first place). Labeling content “adults only” does little to deter curious young minds; it may even tempt them, daring teens to “enter” without permission.
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As technology intersects with education, kids have unparalleled access to the internet. In some schools, tablets have even replaced textbooks. Given our tech-reliant society, kids are now more likely to prowl the web for answers to their questions. And naturally, adolescents entering puberty are curious about sex.
According to a recent study, 53 percent of teen boys and 39 percent of teen girls believe the sex acts they see in porn are realistic.
“A few of my friends have used it for guidance about sex and are getting the wrong image of relationships,” said one 13-year-old girl in the study.
“Its give a unrealistic view of sex and our bodies makes us self consious [sic] and question why are bodies are not developed like what we see online,” added another 13-year-old girl.
Whereas some of the girls were concerned about the porn they’d seen, the boys seemed to cite it as a resource.
“One of my friends has started treating women like he sees on the videos—not major—just a slap here or there,” said one of the study’s 13-year-old boys.
Hormonal teenagers have sexual urges, and instead of ignoring this biological fact, we should be educating them about it. Teaching abstinence to teens is pointless, and frequently correlates with a higher rate of teen pregnancy.
“I myself, learned about sex from porn,” says Ryan Driller, recipient of Xbiz’s Male Performer of the Year award. “Growing up my sex education class was divided. Boys went into one room, girls went into another, and it was drawings of genitalia with an insertion diagram. My sex ed was so biologically correct that I didn’t really have a grasp on it until I saw something like porn.” However, Ryan is quick to point out that even as a youngster he understood certain derogatory behaviors he witnessed in porn would not be acceptable—nor was he comfortable with them.
Adult actress Sarah Vandella never had sex ed in high school, but that didn’t stop her from seeking it out. She recalls learning about sex at an age that was probably too young. “I don’t think it’s healthy for a 13-year-old girl to be watching porn to explore her sexuality, however I can’t say I wasn’t doing the same thing at about that age,” says Vandella. “Thank goodness for places like Planned Parenthood, which are mostly educational outlets and places where young women can find birth control and health-related information.”
Porn can make any awkward, uncomfortable position look fun. When you believe everything onscreen is as real as the penetration, the performers have done a great job. Adult content comes with disclaimers about consent, STD precautions, and being of legal age, but lacks disclaimers about the stunts performed.
“Just like the show Jackass has a warning at the beginning and end, ‘these are trained professionals and the stunts performed here should not be tried at home,’ I believe adult productions should have a label like that, to help the viewer distinguish between a performance and reality,” says renowned performer Sunny Lane.
Teenage boys aren’t the only ones taken in by XXX content. Adult men are, too. Maybe that’s part of the problem: if the adults cannot separate fantasy from reality, how can they possibly teach future generations?
Porn star Carmen Valentina says it’s a catch-22: older fans want to believe it’s real and performers want to keep them happy to foster their fan base. “They don’t realize that half these girls who [do extreme scenes] hate it, but the girls lie to the fans, because we want fans to love us and think we love every scene,” says Valentina. This also creates problems when men outside of the porn industry try to unsuccessfully mimic what they see onscreen. “Sometimes it’s frustrating to have them try a position they’ve seen in a porn movie, then realize it’s not creating the same orgasmic feeling that they saw,” she adds.
Comfort and pleasure are not priorities in porn, the viewer is—more specifically the viewer’s entertainment. XXX content has more shock value than romance these days, though the emerging VR market may change that, but not soon enough.
“Young people are curious about sex, and they have this tool in their hands [a tablet, a laptop] and they look for their answers like they look up anything else,” says Dr. Chauntelle Tibbals, sociologist and author of Exposure: A Sociologist Explores Sex, Society and Adult Entertainment. What they don’t understand, she says, is that “people in porn are sex professionals… but that isn’t transparent.”
“Access that kids have to the internet is unprecedented and it seems like even if you try to keep them out of it, you can’t,” says Dr. Tibbals. “So it’s a matter of teaching them rather than preventing them.”
