Statue Gets Own Security to Stop Tourists Groping Its Breasts

A famous statue in Dublin has been assigned a security detail in an effort to stop tourists from squeezing its breasts. Molly Malone, a fictional fisherman’s wife who serves as an unofficial mascot for the city, is said to bring good luck to travelers who rub her breasts, according to a rumor allegedly started in 2012 by an overly-imaginative tour guide. But the practice has become so widespread that the statue’s chest area has now become discolored, and has led locals to complain of “disgusting” behavior from tourists. The council, which stressed the announcement is not an April Fools Day joke, said on Tuesday that a group of stewards would be deployed to protect the statue and ensure Malone is treated with “respect”. If attitudes fail to change, the statue could be elevated onto a plinth or even moved indoors, they added. In the meantime, the stewards assigned to protect the statue are the same ones who guarded the infamous art portal which would livestream between Dublin and New York but was shut down after inappropriate behavior last year.