Failed Pastry Chef Mrs. Eric Trump Calls Harris Unqualified

RNC co-chair Lara Trump recently attacked Vice President Kamala Harris in a screed that only an alien who had just landed on Earth and was unaware of concepts like nepotism, misogynoir, and decency, could watch without rolling their three eyes.

Posted by Ron Filipkowski, editor-in-chief of liberal news website MeidasTouch Network, the Trump video is worth watching for its bold lack of self-awareness. If you can’t watch, here’s the thankfully short transcript:

“To be honest, [Harris] has failed upward her entire career. Somehow—we know why—Joe Biden chose her to be president, uh vice president with him. He said—these aren’t my words, these are his—We want to choose someone not based on merit. Not based on their skill set. Not based on the fact that they might be the best person for the job of vice president. [BUT] Based on how she looks. Based on the fact that she’s a woman. Based on the fact that she was a minority woman. That’s really gross as far as I’m concerned. Do me a favor—don’t ever give me a position based on the fact that I’m a woman. Either I earned it or I didn’t. And that’s it. That’s all I need.”

So let’s dissect Trump’s drivel, line by line.

Lara Trump: “To be honest, she has failed upward her entire career.”

To be honest, this is a lie. Harris steadily built a stellar career in public service over decades.

Plus, “failing upward” is not something typically associated with women of color. The concept is most likely to be applied to mediocre white men.

Which is not to say that a woman couldn’t fail upward. Maybe you can think of a woman in a position of authority who would fit that description, Lara. Anyone come to mind? Hmm? Well, consider some possibilities and we’ll return to this later.

“Somehow—we know why—Joe Biden chose her to be president, uh vice president with him.”

Obviously, being a Trump means that subtlety is not on brand. But if you start with a sarcastic comment like “Somehow…” then you shouldn’t immediately undercut the bit by adding “we know why.” This shifts a dog whistle into a dog bark.

“He said—these aren’t my words, these are his: We want to choose someone not based on merit. Not based on their skill set. Not based on the fact that they might be the best person for the job of vice president.”

So when you said 'these aren’t my words', the thing that you said after was, in fact, your words. You made it sound like you were going to quote the president, but instead offered the verbal equivalent of eating too much stuffing on Thanksgiving and then sneaking off to the weird bathroom in the basement to vomit it all out.

[BUT] “Based on how she looks.”

Yes, Lara. Everything about you screams “Judge me by my kindness and my integrity and not my looks!”

“Based on the fact that she’s a woman. Based on the fact that she was a minority woman.”

U.S. history time! There have been 49 vice presidents and this is gonna blow your mind, Lara, but until 2020, every single one had been a white male. The Democrats tried running Geraldine Ferraro in 1984. The Republicans tried running Sarah Palin in 2008. The selection of a woman VP had never been a winning strategy.

“That’s really gross as far as I’m concerned.”

Wait, are you saying that it’s “gross” that a qualified woman was selected to be vice president… and for the first time, the ticket won? I’m afraid if that’s how you feel, Lara, we’re going to have to revoke your Woman Card.

“I’m a woman.”

Sorry, but we just revoked your card, remember?

“Do me a favor—don’t ever give me a position based on the fact that I’m a woman.”

Okay, but how about getting a position based on the fact that you’re a woman… who married a Trump? Or do you believe you were given your current job on merit? If so, let’s compare your résumé with that of Michael Whatley, who is your (white male) co-chair of the RNC.

MICHAEL WHATLEY

BA, MA,JD

Worked on Florida recount for George W. Bush

Deputy Assistant Secretary of Energy

Chief of Staff, Senator Elizabeth Dole

Partner, HBW Resource

Chair, North Carolina GOP

RNC, General Counsel

Co-Chair RNC

LARA TRUMP

B.A., Culinary school

Pastry chef

Personal trainer

Inside Edition, story coordinator/producer

Board member, Eric Trump charity*

Senior Advisor to Donald J. Trump, Inc.

FOXNews contributor

Co-Chair RNC

*The Eric Trump Foundation has since shut down after charges of self-dealing which allowed donations to flow back into Trump Organization properties.

“Either I earned it or I didn’t.”

You didn’t.

“And that’s it. That’s all I need.”

Actually, you need to do one more thing. Remember when I asked if the term “failing upward” reminded you of anyone else? Did you come up with a name…?

I was talking about you, silly! While you lost your Woman Card, you still have your Trump card. That’s how you earned your leadership position—by marrying Eric back in 2014. You are clearly lacking in qualifications to be co-chair—these aren’t my words, they’re the words of West Virginia GOP committeewoman Beth Bloch, who nominated you and, according to the Washington Post “warned her fellow RNC members against overvaluing titles and experience. ‘God does not call the qualified. He qualifies the called… Lara Trump is the embodiment of this truth.’”

Nell Scovell is the author of the memoir “Just the Funny Parts: And a Few Hard Truths About Sneaking Into the Hollywood Boys’ Club”.