Fox News’ Greg Gutfeld launched into a three-minute meandering rant on Tuesday’s The Five that likened the presidential election between Donald Trump and Kamala Harris as a race between supporters of a euthanized squirrel and those who partied with Sean “Diddy” Combs.
Gutfeld told his fellow panelists, all of whom remained uncharacteristically silent as he spoke, that Trump‘s messaging—one he boiled down to “we don‘t have to live this way“—was one of the nation‘s “recovery.” Harris‘ message, he said, was instead one of addiction. “‘If you break up with us, your life will be over,’” Gutfeld characterized it as. “‘It will never be the same.’”
He also blasted Harris' characterization of Trump’s election as the “end of democracy,” despite Trump vowing throughout his campaign that a Democratic presidency would mean citizens “won’t have a country anymore.” “It’s the reason why people stay in bad relationships,” Gutfeld said. “It’s the reason why people stay in abusive relationships.”
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“This election is about two sides, Peanut versus P. Diddy,” Gutfeld added.
Gutfeld was referencing a viral pet squirrel in New York, who was euthanized last month by state authorities after they raided its owner Mark Longo‘s home. It is illegal in New York to have a pet squirrel—or raccoon, another one of Longo’s pets who was euthanized—due to concerns of rabies. The death has galvanized Republicans critical of Democratic governments.
“We’re all turned into John Wicks,” Gutfeld continued. “They shot our dog. You know, it’s not like we entered politics. Politics entered us. Then you have the other side. Every name on the guest list for P. Diddy has endorsed Harris. J. Lo has the gall to ask women to trust her judgment after a slum in with a sex fiend for years. Are you serious? Every notable name that comes out for Harris represents a decadent, elitist, amoral faction that exists independent of any hardship that they vote in support of.”
There is no official “guest list” associated with Sean “Diddy” Combs, who was arrested last month on federal charges of sex trafficking and racketeering. Gutfeld was instead referring to a broad array of celebrities who have partied with the rap mogul, who was widely respected in celebrity circles before lawsuits accusing him of flagrant sexual assaults emerged last year, and coincidentally endorsed Harris. Many of these celebrities—including Jennifer Lopez, who dated Combs from 1999 to 2001, had traditionally endorsed Democrats.
Gutfeld‘s rant could not conclude without further cinema references, comparing the cast of Marvel’s Avengers franchise endorsing Harris to Trump nabbing the endorsements of Elon Musk, Robert F. Kennedy, and Tulsi Gabbard. Gutfeld bizarrely referred to that troupe as a real-life “Avengers.”
“So it feels like the climax of a superhero movie,” Gutfeld said. “The first act up: 2016. The second act: 2020. Jan. 6, COVID. The third act: He almost dies . And then what happens?”
Panelist Dana Perino used that opportunity to interject with a commercial break.
