It’s only a matter of time.
He has changed the names of a mountain and an ocean. He wants to make Canada the 51st state. He has decided there are only two sexes. He has, he keeps telling us, the mandate to do pretty much anything he wants.
So, when is Donald Trump going to ask why he can’t turn the White House gold?
To the 47th president of the United States, gold is the color of power. It’s his brand. Trump Tower in New York City is dripping with it. The gilded exterior of The Trump International Hotel in Las Vegas is made with 24-karat gold-plated glass. Mar-a-Lago in Florida is a monument to gaudiness.
Trump sees success in the reflection. His golden tan is a permanent testament to that. And what is the message of white? Surrender. Weakness, maybe.
From the royal families of 18th-century Europe to the blinged hip-hop artists of today, gold has been the show-off symbol of supremacy.
“Remember the golden rule of negotiating,” Trump once wrote on Twitter, “He who has the gold makes the rules.”
It is the hallmark of Trump’s negotiating style. Big will always overcome small and if you don’t like it, then that’s your problem. It was his way in business and it certainly is now he leads the most powerful nation on Earth.
If his maverick former adviser Steve Bannon is to be believed, there is a serious conversation being had about ripping up the Constitution to give Trump a third term. Surely that would be reason enough to bring 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue on brand.
I feel a sense of responsibility even writing this–it might give his ambitious courtiers an idea. But the reality is that Trump is already turning the White House gold from the inside.
The classic comfort of the West Wing has been transformed to resemble a gaudy antique store. Snoop Dogg would be proud of the gold medallions stuck to the fireplace in the Oval Office and the gold vermeil figurines on the mantle. Gold eagles have settled on the side tables and there are Rococo mirrors over the doors.
There’s a hefty gold paperweight on the desk with Trump’s name stamped on it, just in case anyone doesn’t know. There’s no evidence that the president is a great soccer fan (although his son, Barron does play) and yet he has a World Cup trophy in pride of place, presumably because it’s very gold (A silver MLS cup is all wrong although, to be fair, it does have a little gold).
There are so many presidential paintings stuffed in the Oval Office you almost want to offer them a chair. But gold is heavy. It would be tough to take them down.
Showing Laura Ingraham his spoils for her Fox News show on Wednesday evening, Trump said he picked out some of the paintings of past presidents from the vaults where they’d been for 100 years. Fortunately, gold weathers well.
Trump unveiled the Declaration of Independence, put on the Oval Office wall just this week. It’s behind a black drawstring curtain, perhaps a model for a future Kennedy Center. It’s nicely framed. Gold, of course.
On the coffee table, there looks like a stack of giant chocolate Christmas tree coins. They’re probably coasters. All gold. Perfect for Johnnie Walker Gold Label whiskey. Or maybe a Goldschläger.
On Trump’s first day in office in his first term, he replaced the Obamas’ red curtains with gold drapes. They may not be the same ones this time around–but they’re the same color.
It’s all so…gold.
There is even a gilded remote. A perfect gift for the president who has everything.
Asked by Ingraham about claims he was trying to “Trumpify” the Oval Office, the president replied: “It needed a little life.”
The TV host appeared to recognize the gold cherubs from Mar-a-Lago.
“Actually, they are gold,” said Trump, inferring he was quite happy to be Trumpifying his home-work space. “All gold. And, you know, it’s angels. They say angels bring good luck. And we need a lot of luck in this country with what they have done over the last four years.”
Pointing up, he asks Ingraham: “Do you know a little secret? I don’t know if you will waste your time putting this on. Throughout the years, people have tried to come up with a gold paint that would look like gold. And they never have been able to do it.”
“Can’t do it,” agreed Ingraham.
“You have never been able to match gold with gold paint. That’s why it’s gold,” added the president, unable to countenance the thought that anyone would try to fake it.
Trump seemed happy that his Resolute desk was back from the restorers after Elon Musk’s son, little X, left his boogers as a souvenir. In retrospect, they would have fitted right in with the color scheme. Goldish, at least.
He wants to pave over part of the Rose Garden to make a Florida-style patio and build a ballroom. Plenty of room for more gold there.
From the amount of time she spends at the presidential residence, it’s likely that Melania’s more of a silver fan. She’s rumored to have a separate apartment at Trump Tower. I’m guessing it’s all beige and subdued tones.
West Wing observers have noticed the level of gold increasing by the week. There is a morality tale here. In Greek mythology, King Midas wished that everything he touched would turn to gold. It didn’t seem such a good idea when that included his food.
“For gold conjures up a mist about a man, more destructive of all his old senses and lulling to his feelings than the fumes of charcoal,” Dickens wrote in Nicholas Nickleby.
The dangers of greed are clear to see, for Donald Trump and the United States.
But if a giant tent goes up around the White House one night, it might not just be a painting job the president is doing. He may be renaming the old place.
Trump House.
That’s got a golden ring to it.
