In his 2022 Netflix special The King’s Jester, comedian Hasan Minhaj confessed that the pursuit of social media clout had become a toxic presence in his life. Of course, that was before Elon Musk took over Twitter.
Now, as guest host of The Daily Show Wednesday night, the longtime Twitter critic decided to put his money where his mouth is and quit the platform for good during the live taping.
Minhaj began by arguing that despite what many Twitter users have been saying in recent weeks and months, “Elon didn’t make Twitter terrible, Twitter has been terrible for years. Because of us!” He called the platform “worse than Tinder, and Tinder gives you genital herpes.”
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“But as bad as it gets, no one ever leaves!” he continued. After systematically dismantling the various excuses that people like to give for sticking around, Minhaj wondered why anyone should ever tweet. “You share your opinion, you argue with people and then potentially lose your job!” he said. “It’s a platform with no dialogue, no grace, no forgiveness. It’s all ISIS beheadings and clout.”
“I don’t care what side of the aisle you’re on,” Minhaj told Twitter’s most prolific users. “Put the crack pipe down and leave Twitter like you said you would. What happened to the mass exodus when Elon took over?”
To all those who claimed they were decamping to Twitter alternative Mastodon, he said, “You fucking cowards!” Standing up from his chair, he added, “You bitch about Elon all the time but you won’t quit!” And then, “You don’t give a fuck about your values!”
Pacing the stage, he started to shout, “I hate Twitter! I want out! Give me my mind back! Free my mind!”
Finally, he came to the realization that he’s the “living embodiment” of Twitter, “judging other people without changing anything about myself.” With that, he pulled out his phone and said, “Fuck this, I’m leaving Twitter. I’m leaving this hellscape right now!”
After clicking the “deactivate” button for everyone to see, Minhaj stood on his desk and exclaimed, “I’m free!” As of show time, his hundreds of thousands of followers were gone and all that was left was an error message that read, “This account doesn’t exist.”
For more, listen to Hasan Minhaj on The Last Laugh podcast.
