When Hayden Panettiere’s younger brother Jansen died suddenly of an undiagnosed heart condition at 28, the actress’ world was shattered. “He was my only sibling, and it was my job to protect him,” she told People in her first interview about the incident. “When I lost him, I felt like I lost half of my soul.” Panettiere could barely leave her house—it didn’t help that every time she did, she was hounded by paparazzi. The stress resulted in physical changes; she found herself rapidly gaining weight, and losing confidence. Things began to take a turn for the better when her publicist introduced her to a new personal trainer, Marnie Alton. “These long, beautiful walks where we could vent and it would be this therapy session,” she recalled. “Marnie empowered me.” Now, she’s feeling more like herself and finally back to work—with new movie release Amber Alert set for Sept. 27—but she says her brother’s death will always affect her: “No matter how many years go by, I will never get over his loss.”