I am too old to continue to be traumatized by E.T.
I have few memories of childhood as vivid as being scared completely out of my young mind the first time I watched the movie, when Elliott initially encounters E.T. in the woods and they scream at each other. I think my heart leapt out of my chest and took its own trip across the moon.
Obviously, I’ve grown up, rewatched the film, and recognized it for the masterpiece that it is—even going so far as to have a soft spot for the alien who once tormented my nightmares. But it’s hard to shake the instinct to be unsettled by the creature, even after all of these years. You can imagine, then, that this Halloween was a trying one for me.
There were not one, not two, but three celebrities dressed as E.T. this year, making my scrolling through social media last night and today quite the triggering experience.
Heidi Klum, who is famous for hosting an annual Halloween party and dressing in over-the-top, hyper-realistic costumes, and her husband Tom Kaulitz dressed as two different versions of E.T. from the film: she in the wig, hat, and scarf from the mid-movie makeover, and he as the standard version.
These costumes are as incredibly impressive as they are alarming. Both Klum and Kaulitz are wearing robotic E.T. heads on top of their own heads. In other words, they’re not looking out through E.T. masks, they’re peering out through elaborate prosthetic makeup disguising their entire faces as part of their respective aliens’ necks.
It’s wild to, at first, casually glance at photos of the pair and think, “Wow, that’s an excellent E.T.,” and then look closer and notice the subtle whites of their eyeballs peeking from the brown necks.
Klum told The New York Times that she came up with the costume idea soon after last year’s party, because E.T. is one of her favorite movies.“They have no genitals. I like the whole idea of, like, we’re all the same,” she said. She also explained that she was wearing an adult diaper as a precaution, as the costume was difficult to take on and off. Bless Heidi Klum.
For all that planning, however, Klum’s version of E.T. had been upstaged when photos of Janelle Monáe in her own elaborate take on the alien popped up online. Monáe wore the costume for an appearance on the Halloween special of The Jennifer Hudson Show.
“You came back, 42 years later,” Monáe captioned her Instagram photos. “Welcome back E.T. Thank you Google Maps.” She also recreated multiple E.T. looks for the photo shoot, and restaged the famous moon-bicycle scene dressed both as E.T. and “Janelliott.”
Could you imagine all that time Klum spent on her costume, only for Monáe to debut hers first? Social media users had a good-hearted laugh at the coincidence.
It is refreshing to know that I have a foolproof system in place to make sure something like this never happens to me: I hate Halloween, hate Halloween parties, hate Halloween costumes, and can’t imagine ever spending good money on one. It hasn’t failed me yet!
