LONDON—Complaining about typically miserable weather is a fundamental pillar of British conversation. But as a potential record heat wave set in on Monday, the entire country is talking about nothing else—and locals are cooking up some truly unhinged solutions for dealing with the soaring temperatures.
The U.K.’s Meteorological Office issued unprecedented red “danger to life” weather warnings for Monday and Tuesday as forecasters expect the mercury to rise to about 104 F in some areas. For context, only three days in British history are known to have been over 100, with the absolute record (101.7, set in July 2019) set to be obliterated this week. And in a country where as many as 97 percent of homes don’t have air conditioning, experts have warned thousands of excess deaths could occur this week. Britain isn't alone in fearing a high death toll—in Spain and Portugal alone, the heat has killed more than 1,000 people.
As the panic has set in, many Brits have desperately sought novel ways of keeping their homes cool. One particularly odd solution has seen homeowners covering the glass of their doors and windows with aluminum foil to stop the sunlight coming in. The theory goes that dark curtains and blinds absorb light and can actually make a room warmer, so clearly the sensible thing to do is to turn your living room into a lunar module instead. Other people are fashioning “DIY AC units” by placing a bowl of ice cubes in front of a fan, redolent of the A-Team making a “DIY tank” out of scrap metal and string.
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There’s good news if you’re a redhead though. One British movie theater chain, Showcase, is offering free tickets to redheads on Monday and Tuesday to protect their unusually sensitive skin from the blazing sun. I am not joking. The terms and conditions on the offer web page allows “one free ticket per transaction and per day for guests with red hair,” along with images of Rupert Grint and Emma Stone to illustrate what a redhead is.
But parents might miss out on the offer of a free showing of Thor: Love and Thunder if they find their kids are suddenly home from school in the middle of the week. Some schools are allowing kids to come to class in their gym clothes instead of their usual prim and proper uniforms, while others are closing altogether for Monday and Tuesday as some classrooms will get too hot for children to study safely. Adult workers might have a hard time making the case that their office should be closed, however. British labor laws say a workplace should be at least 60.8 F for it to be fit to work in (or 55.4 F if the work involves physical activity), but there is no upper heat limit—it never occurred to anyone that this would be an issue.
Even at Buckingham Palace, members of the Queen's Guard were still standing sentinel outside on Monday in their full sweltering uniforms—though they were allowed to have colleagues pour bottled water into their mouths as they braved the heat.
The iconic—and likely extremely sweaty—guards may see fewer tourists than usual, as the heat lifted a portion of runway at Luton Airport, causing the facility to temporarily halt flights. The Royal Air Force also reportedly had to cancel some flights when runways literally melted.
And it's not only air travel that’s feeling the heat. The beaches are expected to be extremely busy as Brits seek to address their national Vitamin D deficiency, but many will have a hell of a time getting to the coast. Sander trucks that normally spread salt on icy roads in winter have been put on standby over fears that tar road surfaces could melt or and start to bubble, potentially causing accidents and traffic. The railways are also facing chaos. Network Rail—the public body which oversees British rail infrastructure—imposed speed limits on every line in the country on Monday amid fears that tracks could buckle in the heat. In some areas, journey times have doubled.
Even more worrying is the potential disruption to the U.K.’s treasured national health-care system, the NHS. Hospitals have canceled routine operations and doctors have entirely closed community health-care centers that don’t have air conditioning. But hopefully, by Wednesday, a lot of the panic surrounding the British heat wave will turn out to have just been more hot air.
