Working in porn impacts how you see yourself, and though at times we can be our own worst critics, performing naked for all the world to see has had a surprisingly positive impact on some female performers, boosting their self-esteem. A number of young women who have found success in the adult industry once struggled with their own body-image issues—hardly surprising given the state of our looks-centric media.
According to reports on global beauty and confidence, 69 percent of women and 65 percent of girls feel “increasing pressures from advertising and media to reach an unrealistic standard of beauty.” Inundated with suggestive marketing on how to improve ourselves, that silent message to women everywhere is coming through loud and clear: don’t be subpar, be better. Even when it’s “body positive,” the marketing toward women focuses on physical appearance. One study done by the Kaiser Foundation found that 56 percent of commercials aimed at female viewers used beauty as product appeal compared to just 3 percent of the television commercials aimed at men.
Whereas mainstream media left some women feeling they couldn’t measure up, they’d never be pretty enough, thin enough or have an ass like Kim Kardashian, working in porn (a stigmatized occupation) had the opposite effect. Their appearance, and the graphic acts they performed, were sexually arousing, more so for the fact that someone was paying a lot of money for it. For some, that alone was validating. Others discovered a renewed sense of body confidence amongst consumers. For every body type and flaw, there’s a niche and adoring (paying) fans.
ADVERTISEMENT
Perhaps you find the wart growing out of the bunion on your right toe embarrassing, so you never wear sandals and won’t have sex without your socks on. Then you start doing porn and your fans gush over every inch of your body, warts and all. Take that a step further: When the foot fans begin to ask for clips featuring that bunion wart, your embarrassing flaw becomes a well-loved fetish, transforming the way you see it and yourself. Sure, feeling attractive and confident in your own skin is an attitude, but it’s also heavily reliant on social feedback.
Growing up curvy, bombarded with imagery of thin women in the media, AVN’s reigning Female Performer of the Year Angela White once lacked body-esteem. Feeling outside the standards of beauty, White credits pornography as her first positive introduction to curvy bodies. It was there she saw bodies like hers celebrated and sexualized. Along with being curvy, White was overly conscious of the bright purple stretch marks she’d developed with her voluptuous frame. How she viewed her “marks” was forever altered after one of her first magazine layouts was published.
“One of the magazines I posed for called my stretch marks ‘beauty marks,’ and it was that magazine that helped me appreciate my curves in a way I couldn’t before,” recalls White.
There was a sense of validation in seeing herself this way: “Not only are men and women paying to see me, but there are companies paying me money for my curves. Seeing myself published in a magazine sold specifically for sexual arousal was confidence-boosting.”
Before embarking on a career in porn, 23-year-old Charlotte Sartre felt deeply insecure about her body, self conscious about her most intimate areas. “I felt like I was less of a woman somehow [due to her breast size],” confesses Sartre. “I also hated my vagina and the way my labia looked. I thought the only way I would ever be happy with my appearance was by getting breast implants and labiaplasty.”
Hearing fans compliment the same parts of her body she worried most about gave her a sense of courage and newfound confidence. Yet it’s her on-screen partners who’ve taught her body acceptance. “Just the other day, a woman I was performing with told me I had the prettiest pussy she had ever seen. That made me blush super-hard,” says Sartre. “Whatever you’re insecure about, chances are it’s somebody’s biggest turn-on. Capitalizing on the things I used to hate about myself has given me so much respect and appreciation for my body and shown me power I didn’t know I had.”
Teased by peers, Alex Harper was on the verge of having her long labia surgically reduced shortly before she entered porn. The flood of compliments from enamored fans with an open appreciation for her labia came as a shock, and in stark opposition to the ridicule she’d previously experienced. “I was about to have surgery and this newfound flood of compliments completely changed my mind,” says Harper. “People may have reservations about adult work, but my porn family has taught me so many lessons including how to embrace myself.”
Still relatively new to the porn industry, Della Dane’s preconceptions of an ideal body type have shifted dramatically in her first year of performing. Though she identifies as a fairly confident individual, having attained a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, she nonetheless had reservations about her looks. “I have an uneven pattern of pigmentation on my right arm and my right breast that I always felt self-conscious about growing up,” says Dane. Thanks in part to the overwhelmingly positive commentary from her fans, Dane has begun to embrace the part of her body she was once most worried about. Fans have told her how much they “love the variation” on her breasts. For Dane, that was the boost she needed, and she can honestly now say, “I now love the uniqueness of my skin and how it looks in photos.”
While it may be hard to imagine, adult actress Brooklyn Chase recalls being very shy and insecure before embarking on a career in porn. “I have always been insecure about my legs, butt, and the stretch marks on them. I never wore shorts, dresses or bathing suits and always covered my lower half,” recalls Chase. “Porn has completely helped me overcome this insecurity. People rarely mention my stretch marks, which made me realize they don’t matter. I’m told almost daily that I have a great butt and legs.”
Realizing how she saw herself versus the way she was perceived was eye-opening, and the first step to not just embracing, but celebrating the same attributes she’d once considered flaws. “Over the years as I’ve lost and gained weight, been brunette or blonde, gotten or taken out piercings, the one constant is that some of my fans loved my look and some hated it,” says Chase. “Learning that lesson, that you can’t please everyone, taught me to be comfortable in my own skin. I’ve learned to love myself—every roll, dimple, and stretch mark.”
Despite the demand for performers of all types, Kimmie KaBoom had some reservations about being a BBW performer. The worries were unfounded. “It gave me a new sense of confidence, confidence that I didn’t even realize I was lacking,” says KaBoom. “I always felt average. No more or less pretty than the next woman. Since entering the adult industry, I feel more beautiful and what I saw as my flaws don’t seem as important anymore.”
Stereotypes were pushed by the agents porn star Nina Kayy met. She was told to lose weight and fit a certain image, all of which she attempted. All that did was make her even more self-conscious about her “strong features,” as she calls them. At the request of her first adult agent, Kayy lost thirty pounds.
“I’ve always been curvy and thick. There was a lot of pressure and the top girls were so skinny but they all looked the same,” offers Kayy, which at the time was ideal.
Unhappy with that path, Kayy moved on and began filming her own porn, cultivating a fan base that ultimately led to recognizing her own unique beauty. “What helped me accept my body was going off on my own, working for myself and building my website which is nominated this week for an Urban X Award,” says Kayy.
No longer expensive to produce, porn entrepreneurs and producers can deviate from beauty norms with little risk—a concept the internet revolutionized, taking lust way beyond what mainstream culture would have you believe. Porn offers a wide range of “sexy,” standing in stark contrast to the narrow range presented in mainstream Hollywood. In this unique way, porn teaches its audience to see beauty in diversity, empowering the women who work in it to embrace their differences.
