Jimmy Kimmel could hardly believe his ears when he uttered five seemingly simple words on Thursday: “I agree with Ted Cruz.”
Despite the fact that the late-night host and the Texas senator are frequently at odds with one another over everything from immigration to Big Bird, Kimmel admitted that he’s on Team Ted for the moment.
The Republican presidential primary has officially become a two-person race between Trump and Nikki Haley, and Cruz has publicly declared his support for Trump. But Kimmel isn’t sure he’s buying what Cruz is selling. “Because Ted Cruz does not like Donald Trump,” according to Kimmel.
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“He pretends to—he kisses his ass constantly,” Kimmel continued, “But on this show, Ted Cruz told me if he had a chance to run Donald Trump over with his car, he would.”
Which is why Kimmel believes that Cruz (“in a quietly evil way,” according to Kimmel) is encouraging the former president to accept Haley’s invitation to take a cognitive test together with all the world watching. And it’s an idea that Kimmel fully supports.
“I agree with Ted Cruz,” Kimmel admitted, “Let’s fire up those tests. Let’s make a round-robin tournament out of it: Trump vs. Haley, and the winner faces Joe Biden.”
While part of Kimmel’s desire to see the one-time president show off his brain power is to witness whether he can pass the test at all, he’s also admittedly in it for the entertainment factor.
“I want to see the guy who stared directly into an eclipse—I want to see the guy who can’t plead the Fifth without using his fingers, the guy who spells KFC with two E’s, take this test on television,” Kimmel declared.
The way Kimmel sees it, Haley’s job here is easy. “All Nikki Haley has to do is accept this challenge,” he said. “And if she doesn’t, maybe she does have the brain of a bird.”
