Few people were more excited about Tuesday’s big report in The Daily Beast concerning Donald Trump’s attempts to shut down his late-night TV critics than Jimmy Kimmel.
“So, The Daily Beast reports that, in 2019, Donald Trump wanted the government to investigate—guess who, Guillermo?—me!” Kimmel said at the top of his monologue before quoting at length from the story.
As The Daily Beast’s Asawin Suebsaeng and Adam Rawnsley reported, “According to two people familiar with the matter, Trump asked advisers and lawyers in early 2019 about what the Federal Communications Commission, the court system, and—most confusingly to some Trump lieutenants—the Department of Justice could do to probe or mitigate SNL, Jimmy Kimmel, and other late-night comedy mischief-makers.”
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“I’m glad you’re excited about it,” Kimmel replied as his live audience cheered. “I don’t want him probing me. Can you imagine that? President Snowflake asked to send the authorities in to stop us from making fun of him.”
“Little did I know, I’m up here goofing on him, he’s asking the Feds to do who the hell knows what?” the host added. “And when he was told there was no legal case to be made—that you can’t stop comedians from making fun of you when you’re president—Trump asked, ‘Can something else be done about it?’”
As Kimmel put it, Trump wanted to turn the Justice Department into his own private “goon squad” because “he can’t take a joke.”
“He can make one,” he continued. “In fact, he’s made several: Eric, Ivanka, Don Jr. But he cannot take a joke.”
If Trump had followed through with his plan, Kimmel joked that he would have defended himself by saying, “Alec Baldwin’s the one you want. He dressed up as you!”
Finally, Kimmel responded to the statement in which Trump seemed to both deny and then confirm the reporting. “What do you think? Do you think he said it or not?” Kimmel wondered.
“Of course he did! Anyway, thanks for watching, Mr. Former President. I’ll send you a hoodie if you like. You still a triple XL?”
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