Jimmy Kimmel began his show on Wednesday night by sharing a few more corrections from the White House. “They asked me to help get a few messages out,” he explained.
“First of all, the president meant to say that Papa John was treated unfairly, not fairly,” the host said. “He mistakenly carried the ‘un’ from his meeting with Kim Jong Un, who he would like to clarify is not a great guy under that chubby exterior. Second, the president did not intend to say that Kentucky Fried Chicken is a healthy breakfast for children. And he would like to retract the name ‘junior’ from Donald Trump Jr. as it has become clear his son is kind of a douche.”
The host spent a good deal of his monologue on Trump’s various attempts to walk-back his “puppet show” with Vladimir Putin that started the week. “Yesterday he made the very shabby claim that when he said he didn’t see any reason why Russia ‘would’ hack the election, he meant to say he didn’t see any reason why they ‘wouldn’t’ hack the election,” Kimmel said, “which was a ridiculous claim that no one believes, with the possible exception of the morning suck-ups at Fox & Friends.”
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“The economy’s great, he sat down with Kim Jong Un, this was the other summit, sitting down with a leader that we need to have a relationship with,” Fox & Friends co-host Ainsley Earhardt said on Wednesday morning. “And everyone is excited about that, and then he misspeaks one word, one contraction—he forgot to put the ‘n’t’ at the end of ‘wouldn’t’—and it ruins the whole summit?”
“It’s outrageous, you know,” Kimmel replied. “That’s like saying one little flame on the Hindenburg ruined the whole ride on the blimp.”
Then, the host added, after “making the most embarrassing, bold-faced presidential lie since Clinton and the oral sex, claiming he misspoke and meant to say he did trust American intelligence officials more than the former KGB agent in charge of Russia, he went ahead and did it again today.”
Kimmel was referring to the moment when Trump was asked by a reporter at the end of his cabinet meeting if Russia is “still targeting the U.S.” and he answered, “Thank you very much, no.”
“He said ‘no.’ He said ‘no’ twice,” Kimmel noted. “Which means he’s again taking Putin’s side, which is a disaster after yesterday. So what do they do? How does the White House handle this? They send out the White House press secretary to feed us some Sarah Hucka-B.S. She actually tried to convince the press that when he said ‘no’ he meant ‘no more questions.’”
“Imagine being Sarah Huckabee Sanders,” Kimmel said. “You come into work this morning and you learn your assignment today is to spin the word ‘no.’ This is why she spends two weeks in hiding between press briefings now.”
“This is remarkable. We got a real problem here,” he added. “This is a yes-or-no question. He answered no. And now she’s saying no didn’t mean no? She must really want to start eating at restaurants again is all I can figure.”
