Entertainment

Joe Biden Didn’t Poop Himself But These Celebs Did

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A definitive list of the oversharing celebrity pant-soilers.

Kris Jenner, Ed Sheeran, Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Brown.
Reuters

MAGA land worked itself into a frenzy on Thursday after the Republican National Committee posted an awkward clip of Joe Biden preparing to sit in a chair, its trolls rapidly spreading the debunked claim that the video was “proof” Biden had pooped himself. While the former president didn’t defecate onstage, there are plenty of other stars who have—and who have, for some reason, candidly shared their smelly stories.

Here are some of the celeb soilers.

Chris Brown

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Singer Chris Brown shared a pretty graphic description of his bathroom mishap in 2011, recalling when a particularly nasty bout of food poisoning hit him mid-performance. “I just remember my stomach starting bubbling,” he said, sharing that he didn’t want to be unprofessional by rushing off stage. “I just remember dancing and onstage in the midst of all that, I… is it, like, sharted?” he continued. “I just remember it running down my leg.”

Ed Sheeran

Singer Ed Sheeran shared TMI on a radio show in 2015, telling hosts that he once sharted while performing on stage. “I actually once misjudged a fart onstage, which ended up being a shart,” he said on the Australian show Nova FM. “It was like midway through a performance and I was kinda like really lively, and then halfway through, I was like, ‘I’m just gonna stand still for the rest of this performance and hope it’s over soon and then go home and throw these trousers out.’”

Selena Gomez

Ironically, actress and singer Selena Gomez shared that she actually “soiled herself” en route to an Ed Sheeran concert. In 2019, the singer told KISS FM hosts that she had a little gastric trouble while waiting in L.A. traffic to get to the show. “Ed Sheeran was playing at the Hollywood Bowl and there was so much traffic! I was very uncomfortable, let’s say, down there. So I will say that it was the first time that I had maybe soiled my pants a bit.”

Jennifer Lawrence

J-Law charmed audiences with her honesty when she emerged as a starlet a decade ago, so it’s no surprise that she shared her defecatory anecdote on a late night talk show appearance in 2013. The actress comically recounted to David Letterman about how she was plagued with gastric distress so bad she went to the E.R. believing she had an ulcer. “It was a fulcer,” she said. “I just had this really bad pain for like three weeks, and you can only shit your pants so many times a day before you, like, have to go to the emergency room, before you’re like, ‘I need to go to the hospital!’”

Joe Jonas

Like Sheeran, Joe Jonas once accidentally soiled himself on stage in the middle of a performance. He told the story of the 2019 mishap on a radio appearance on the Will & Woody show in 2023, sharing that he ran offstage as soon as he realized what happened for an impromptu wardrobe change. “Let’s just say it was a bad day to choose to wear white clothing. You think it might be a little toot, it might’ve been a little something else, a little something extra,” he said, adding, “It was a light one, it wasn’t a full, so I was able to tell the tale.” Jonas claimed it’s something that had happened to many artists, and felt a connection with fellow celebrity soilers: “I feel like I’ve paid my dues, and I feel like I’m a part of some secret club now.”

Al Roker

Longtime weatherman Al Roker shared in 2013 that he accidentally pooped his pants at the White House, mistakenly thinking he could just pass a little gas. “I probably went off and ate something I wasn’t supposed to. And as I’m walking to the press room, [I’m thinking], ‘I gotta pass a little gas here.’ I’m walking by myself. Who’s gonna know? Only a little something extra came out… I pooped my pants,” he said on Dateline. He added that he’d had a gastric bypass surgery, which played a role in his untimely defecation.

Nick Kroll

Comedian Nick Kroll went on Conan in 2011 and gave a very, very graphic description of pooping his pants in the car. “I’m about to have a butt baby, because I am crowning,” Kroll recalled thinking during his Conan appearance. “I get in front of my house, and I’m like, ‘I’m not gonna make it.’ And then, I just fill my underwear with a travel-sized pillow worth of brisket.” He added that after the episode, he had to toddle to the shower and take a post-BM nap to recharge.

Kumail Nanjiani

Conan was unfortunate enough to get another poop story from actor-comedian Kumail Nanjiani in 2016. Nanjiani shared that he accidentally soiled himself while at work, waiting to appear on a shoot. He was wearing a costume, playing Temple Run in a trailer when the attack caught him by surprise. “I didn’t even feel like I needed to go to the bathroom. It was like, one moment there was no poop in my pants—it actually felt like someone else pooped my pants,” he said.

Kris Jenner

The KarJenner matriarch tweeted with wondrous surprise about a sudden bowel movement in 2012. “I just sharted myself,” she declared on Twitter. And just in case anyone was unfamiliar with the term, the mom-ager supplied a helpful definition: “That’s when u fart and u shit yourself on accident!”

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