Last week, John Oliver dedicated a nice chunk of his HBO program, Last Week Tonight, to “human tanning bed” Anthony Scaramucci, the expletive-happy new White House communications director.
Well, The Mooch is out. And Stephen Miller might be in.
Yes, following his White House sparring session with CNN’s Jim Acosta over the administration’s xenophobic new immigration bill, Miller, President Trump’s chief speechwriter and (anti-) immigration adviser, is rumored to be under consideration for the vacant comms director role.
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“I don’t want to give you the impression that it was only Trump in the White House attacking cornerstones of America this week, because there was also Stephen Miller, policy adviser and Vitamin D-deficient Minion,” cracked Oliver.
“In any case,” the host continued, “Miller spoke to the press this week about the White House’s support for a draconian bill that would slash legal immigration levels in half over a decade and make citizenship contingent on factors like English-speaking ability, education levels, and job skills.”
Oliver then threw to the presser showdown between Miller and Acosta. “The Statue of Liberty says, ‘Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.’ It doesn’t say anything about speaking English or being a computer programmer,” said Acosta.
“The [Emma Lazarus] poem that you’re referring to was added later. It’s not actually a part of the original Statue of Liberty,” fired back Miller.
Now, Miller is correct—Emma Lazarus’ poem “The New Colossus,” which was written in 1883, wasn’t added to the Statue of Liberty until 1903.
But by essentially disavowing the poem, which was added expressly because it represented the spirit of the statue, Miller echoed a popular white-nationalist talking point (white nationalists have long tried to discredit the poem both for its pro-immigration message and the fact that its author is Jewish).
“Wait, though: Just because it wasn’t part of the original does not mean it is worthless,” remarked Oliver. “Some of the best things ever made were changed partway through. Did you know, for instance, there was a time when Fast & Furious movies didn’t have The Rock in them? It’s true, and they sucked. That’s why they added the fucking Rock.”
The comedian then addressed the rumors that Miller, a protégé of Jeff Sessions and Steve Bannon, might take over as White House communications director.
“That would be a lot of responsibility for Stephen Miller, a man who is—and this may be the most shocking thing you learn tonight—31 years old. He is 31 human years old,” said Oliver, or the same age as the Olsen twins, Lindsay Lohan, and Shia LaBeouf.
“The point is, Miller is so young that there are actually videos on the internet of what he was like in high school, and first of all—obviously, Minion—but second, the video is actually of him campaigning for student government, and it gives you a sense of what we may all be in for if he does become the new Mooch,” Oliver added.
He then played a video of Miller running for student government at tony Santa Monica High School. Miller famously lambasted Acosta for exhibiting “cosmopolitan bias” even though he himself went to the same fancy school as Sean Penn, Robert Downey Jr., Charlie Sheen, and Rob Lowe.
In the clip, the future Trump adviser screams, “Am I the only one who is sick and tired of being told to pick up my trash when we have plenty of janitors who are paid to do it for us?!”
The speech was uncovered by Univision, which also revealed that it was deemed offensive by many students and led to Miller being escorted offstage by faculty.
“Wow. He is truly one of the most revolting humans [Minions] I have ever seen,” said Oliver. “You know, in a way, there is no more fitting spokesman for the Trump administration than an entitled, elitist asshole who refuses to take responsibility for the messes he makes, and who can somehow manage to pick a fight with a fucking statue.”
