On the latest edition of Last Week Tonight, host John Oliver chose to largely ignore yet another “head-spinning week at the White House”—from the news that porn star Stormy Daniels is suing President Trump for allegedly violating the terms of their “hush agreement” to Trump’s agreeing to meet with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un—in favor of a 25-minute segment on cryptocurrencies (ugh) with a cameo by Keegan-Michael Key.
What came before it, however, was pretty entertaining.
The HBO host commented on how the North Korea news distracted from International Women’s Day, a day in which women all over the country protested for equal rights—and against a president who’s been accused of sexual harassment or assault by at least 19 women.
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“It was a day of marches all over the world in support of causes from equal pay to combating sexual harassment, all of which were truly inspiring,” said Oliver. “What was dispiriting was, yet again, International Women’s Day inspired reactions ranging from the clumsy to the appalling.”
Oliver proceeded to mock brands for their incredibly groan-worthy attempts at pandering to the day, including McDonald’s turning its golden arches upside down to make a “W,” Porsche only lighting up the letters in its name spelling “SHE,” and Brawny’s “Sheroes” campaign.
But worse than the brands’ behavior were the “awkward interactions” by TV news anchors.
“Step forward CBS This Morning, a show that recently fired Charlie Rose following sexual-harassment allegations, and yet, they still transition from a segment about dog behavior to a segment about International Women’s Day like this,” offered Oliver.
He then threw to a clip of co-hosts Norah O’Donnell and John Dickerson speaking to each other in flirty baby talk imitating dogs, with O’Donnell saying, “Come here you little sweetie pie, don’t you look cute,” and Dickerson responding, “Oh my God, I just wanna be in your lap.”
Cue the voice of reason, Gayle King: “You know you two are not alone. There’s people in the room.”
“Yeah, Gayle’s right, there are people in the room,” said Oliver. “Although maybe we should focus on who’s not in the room. Let’s ask ourselves: Who is not in that room, and how did he come to be not in the room? I’m just saying, it seems that CBS This Morning is less a morning show and more two hours of incriminating office surveillance footage that accidentally gets broadcast across the country every day.”
Their actions paled in comparison to Philadelphia Fox 29’s Mike Jerrick, who unleashed a series of remarkably sexist comments on International Women’s Day, and of course Vladimir Putin, who, according to Oliver, “decided to read a Russian love poem that featured some truly unfortunate sentiments.”
“It is a woman’s soul that conquers us—when she is young, when she is a mother, and even when her hair goes gray,” Putin announced.
“Even when her hair goes gray!? That is both a bizarre sentiment and a really weird summary of any woman’s life,” said Oliver, before mimicking Putin: “First she is child, then she makes child, then she changes color. She is like banana if banana make other bananas. What I’m trying to say, is happy International Women’s Day you eternally fuckable banana.”
Oddly enough, Oliver chose not to address this hypocritical tweet from none other than President Trump:
