Comedy

Jordan Klepper Stumps Nikki Haley Voters on Trump vs. Biden

‘A PUNCH IN THE NUTS’

Asked directly by the “Daily Show” correspondent who would get their vote between the two presumptive nominees, “Never Trump” Republicans mostly came crawling back.

exclusive
Jordan Klepper
Comedy Central/screengrab

Though it was just this week that Nikki Haley finally managed to win her first Republican primary, the former South Carolina governor’s fans are refusing to waver in their support… sort of. The Daily Show’s Jordan Klepper recently headed to Raleigh, North Carolina to meet up with Haley supporters for his latest installment of “Fingers the Pulse,” and press them on the big question: What if Haley drops out of the race?

The answer led to a lot of confusion, and even a bit of soul-searching, as you can see in the exclusive segment below from The Daily Show’s Super Tuesday episode (hosted by correspondent Ronny Chieng) airing tonight.

One adamant voter wouldn’t even let Klepper finish asking what she would do if Haley dropped out of the race following Super Tuesday. “She’s not going to,” she declared, refusing to entertain the thought—even when Klepper suggested that Haley might not have the votes.

ADVERTISEMENT

“You sound like a Republican,” Klepper told her. “You’re just not going to accept any election results.” She couldn’t help but agree.

“Oddly enough, they seemed as anti-MAGA as the tiny crowds at a Biden rally,” Klepper said of the rally’s attendees. Among the choicest disparagements sent Trump’s way were that the former president is “chaos,” “out of control,” and “would sell his own grandmother, if he could, for a profit.”

But the rubber really hit the road when Klepper got down to brass tacks and asked Haley voters what would happen if the decision ultimately comes down to Biden vs. Trump. Again.

“First I’m going to have a cry, then I’m going to have a beer, and then I’m going to have to pray,” responded one woman, who seemed to have it all worked out—except who would get her vote.

Other voters seemed to have a much more difficult time facing this very likely reality. “It’s going to be really hard,” admitted one gentleman. “Just hold my nose, close my eyes, tie me up…” Yet even when Klepper pressed further, he couldn’t bring himself to say who would actually get his vote—likening it to choosing whether he’d rather ingest rat poison or fish tank cleaner and not being able to decide.

“Isn’t it horrible?” was all he could offer.

That aforementioned adamant voter? She told Klepper she is “completely done” with Trump, as she believes he poses an existential threat to American democracy. She will also vote for him if her choices are Trump or Biden.

The same voter who believes that the 45th president would sell his grandmother also thinks, if elected again, Trump—who he deemed a “threat to global security”—would sell Ukraine to Putin. But he’s not ready to vote for Biden, because he’s old and makes him feel “nothing.”

“Global security risk or nothing: I’m not saying those are great options,” said Klepper, “but I’m also saying: that’s not a hard decision.”

To drive home the importance of actually casting a vote, Klepper offered up an analogy to help this torn voter choose: “You could feel nothing—which, OK, it would be nice to feel something inside—or you could feel getting punched in the nuts. If you had to choose feeling nothing or punched in the nuts? It feels like a no-brainer.”

“At least if you get punched in the nuts you can fight back,” was the voter’s reply.

For more, listen to The Daily Show’s Jordan Klepper on The Last Laugh podcast.

Got a tip? Send it to The Daily Beast here.