Joyful Putin Pals Thank Trump for Victory in New Cold War

The conversation between U.S. President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin went perfectly to plan, according to the Kremlin’s laughing propagandists who believe they are on the verge of victory in the new Cold War.

In Russia, where Trump’s moves are a widespread cause for optimism, Putin’s call was seen as a way to repay the American leader by giving him some “pleasure,” without any concrete concessions that would lead to peace in the region.

Appearing on The Evening With Vladimir Solovyov on Tuesday evening, state TV experts didn’t hide their joy over what was happening. State Duma Deputy Andrey Lugovoy—one of the prime suspects in the poisoning of former Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko—commented, “Regardless of what happens in the near future, I can state with a full responsibility that we, Russia, have completely won the rematch of the unfortunate outcome of the Cold War, as a result of which the Soviet Union had fallen apart.”

Pleased with Trump’s decision to forego Russia’s isolation and embrace war criminal Putin as his equal, Lugovoy noted, “Over thirty years later, they started to take our interests into account. This is the direct outcome of the events we’ve been discussing for the last three years.”

Political scientist Dmitry Kulikov said that Putin educated Trump as to the complex nature of the war, informing him that there is no simple solution and rejecting the notion of a 30-day ceasefire that would be followed by easily achievable peace. State TV’s experts have long predicted that Putin would not agree to an unconditional ceasefire—sometimes resorting to insults and unsavory gestures to illustrate their rejection of Trump’s simplistic plan. Regarding Trump’s proposal, Kulikov said, “It obviously didn’t fly—not because we’re so malicious, but because we know that it’s a dead end that leads nowhere and won’t lead to peace.”

Like many experts, he explained that Russia is seeking much more than a resolution of the Ukrainian crisis, which the Kremlin doesn’t intend to conclude until at least some of its aims have been achieved. Kulikov referred to an “80-year war” between the United States and Russia—a belief that Russia did not lose the Cold War, but kept fighting it since 1945, with Ukraine as the latest manifestation of the ongoing conflict between Moscow and Washington. This theory that surfaced only after Russia’s invasion of Ukraine is decidedly Orwellian, a modern take on “Oceania had always been at war with Eastasia,” where the current enemy is portrayed as someone with whom Russia was always at war.

Kulikov said, “If this ongoing 80-year war will be stopped, then the very existence of Ukraine will be rendered pointless. Who would need it and for what?”

He surmised that the terms of the partial ceasefire that is meant to preclude strikes against energy infrastructure won’t help Ukraine, stating, “Everything that should have been destroyed was already destroyed, as far as the electricity, oil and gas. Basically, we can wait it out for thirty days. They won’t be able to restore anything in thirty days. We’ll see what comes of it—but at least it brought Donald some pleasure, now he can talk about it.”

Scoffing at Putin’s refusal to commit to an unconditional ceasefire, host Vladimir Solovyov said, “Accept our conditions and there won’t be any more military actions. By the way, give us Berlin back, return East Germany.” Broadly smiling, he noted, “I have to say, the mood is good after their conversation.”

The same disrespectful attitude was prevalent in the run-up to the phone call. Appearing at an event by the Russian Union of Industrialists and Entrepreneurs, Putin smirked at his press secretary’s reminder of a scheduled conversation with Trump and urged everyone to disregard Dmitry Peskov’s nudge, which resulted in an uproarious laughter in the audience.

Mocking Putin’s lack of urgency in accepting Trump’s call, RT posted on X, “Putin’s speech at the conference lasted only 42 minutes, compared to 2.5 hours last year. Perhaps someone keeps relentlessly calling?”

Fiona Hill, senior director for European and Russian affairs on the National Security Council in the first Trump administration, recently remarked that Putin would often mock his American counterpart during their phone calls. The slights were smoothed over by the interpreter, and Trump had the tendency to consider the exchanges “great” and disregard the input from experts on his own team. The “broken telephone” game apparently occurred during the most recent exchange as well.

According to the Kremlin, Putin stressed to Trump that Moscow’s “key condition” for working towards a diplomatic solution is a complete cessation of foreign military and intelligence aid to Ukraine. State TV pundits on Solovyov’s show named these conditions as Moscow’s most important demands. However, later the same day, Trump told Laura Ingraham that aid to Ukraine wasn’t even discussed during his call with Putin. Perhaps this too was lost in translation.