She may be in her mid-20s, but judging by her outfits, reality TV star turned fashion designer Lauren Conrad is way into AARP territory. See photos of her essentials—the shapeless dresses, ruffles, high collars, doughnut bun, and more.
Maybe now that Lauren Conrad is 26, she thinks she should keep it all under wraps. Enter the bag dress. Long, beige, and paired with half-inch heels, this frock is perfect for hiding what your mama gave you.
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OK, we like tights. Tights can be cute, tights can keep your legs warm on a frosty afternoon, tights can even be substituted for real-life pants on a particularly Kim Kardashian–esque day. But Conrad’s tights, paired with black and black and a teeny black hat/headband thing, look gravely inappropriate outside of a mourning period.
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This is a double whammy. Not only is Conrad sporting a bleak gray ensemble, but the sagging, greased-up bun at the nape of her neck screams Betty Grable—but even the 1940s pinup knew how to show a little skin.
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A ruffle accent can be endearing, but this dress looks as if it were sewn together from a bunch of old curtains à la The Sound of Music. And the dark lipstick and slicked-back hair don’t help matters.
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The too-big blazer is one thing, but look closely and you’ll notice a pair of tiny spectacles perched on Conrad’s head—strategically placed to confirm that, yes, she is indeed 96 years old.
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She is just asking for this one. From a bright red bow tie to a faux mustache and imitation bowler hat, Conrad proves she can successfully pass for a gentleman of 1849.
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A tightly fitting bodice with lots of loose tulle at the heels, this dress is straight from the Mad Men era. But while Christina Hendricks manages to look chic and sexy during a period of female oppression, this dress pleads for a complete liberation.
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Conrad sported a variety of dresses from her front-row seat at New York Fashion Week. Predictably, none of them were age appropriate—including this over-the-knee tablecloth frock.
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Another New York Fashion Week look. This particular dress is mind-boggling. While pseudo-conservative—notice the floor-length fabric and high collar—this outfit is actually kind of revealing. It has all the makings of elderly garb, but a collarbone-exposing cut-out and high slit showcasing her otherwise covered stems give us hope that she may be reverting to her bikini-clad days of Laguna Beach—or maybe not. But really, what is with this dress?
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The doughnut bun, so named because it looks like a doughnut made of hair, can be achieved using a sock, a lot of hairpins, or a glazed hot cake. Conrad is easily categorized as a doughnut-bun enthusiast, rocking the elderly look everywhere from the red carpet to New York Fashion Week.
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