NPR Spain radio producer Miguel Macias sometimes has an unexpected feeling when people ask about his 18-month-old daughter: regret. “It’s a feeling that’s so difficult to talk about,” Macias said. “So universally taboo, that I feel nervous expressing it even to the people closest to me.” He grew up thinking he would never have kids because they would stop him from achieving his dreams of traveling the world as a documentarian. But when those dreams never materialized, he settled down and had his daughter, Olivia. Macias has “deep love” for her, but also gets “bored and frustrated” after 20 minutes of play time with her because it feels like he’s “wasting time” while his to-do list grows. The producer admitted he sometimes takes “comfort” in his feelings of regret in the privacy of his own mind because he doesn’t want to be haunted by never making peace with fatherhood.