This week:
- My BFF Bridget Jones is back.
- An unlikely, hilarious soap opera.
- A juicy SNL-Taylor Swift story.
- A juicy Marvel mayhem story.
- Meet my Valentine.
Soap Operas Are Back
Almost 40 years after his genius first entered the world, a 13-year-old soap opera creator is finally getting his due.
It happens to now be in a live show staged in Los Angeles, 13-Year-Old Michael Ausiello Presents: Beverly Hills — A Pretend Soap Opera Performed by Real Actors. But do not be confused by that title. Beverly Hills, the soap opera in question, is very real.
To see it performed four decades later is an unhinged, hilarious experience, one brimming with absolute lunacy, a skosh of narcissism, and some surprising profundity. It’s an homage to the soap opera genre, a tribute to superfandom, and a rally cry for just a good, giggle-filled fun time. We may all be losing our minds right now; it’s way more fun to watch some of the best comedic actors in the business lose their minds on stage instead.
Here’s the wild conceit: In the mid-’80s, Michael Ausiello, the founder of entertainment website TVLine.com and the writer of the book and movie Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies, was a closeted teen soap opera enthusiast who channeled his obsession into writing a whopping 517 episodes of his own soap, called Beverly Hills. He kept those handwritten scripts, and is now staging them in cold readings featuring stars like Michael Urie (Shrinking), Yvette Nicole Brown (Community), Gillian Jacobs (Community), Dulé Hill (Psych), and Edi Patterson (The Righteous Gemstones).
Are the episodes… good? At the performance I saw last week, there was a secret murder, a hostage situation, a search for a hidden prism with life-saving powers, and the Russian circus came to town. Performed with utmost sincerity by the ace cast, it was ludicrous. You can watch a livestream of the show here—a riotous respite from, you know, [looks around] everything.
Live From New York, It’s a Wild Story
There is apparently one person in entertainment who is more powerful than Taylor Swift. (Currently Googling, “Does witness protection accept people fleeing from the wrath of the Swifties?”... just in case.)
More words have been spilled than exist in the Library of Congress the last few weeks about Saturday Night Live, its history, and its legacy, with the show’s 50th anniversary special airing—in a twist—Sunday night on NBC and Peacock.
Easily one of the most fascinating pieces I read was this New York magazine feature about the reign of Lorne Michaels, the extent of his power and influence, and what might happen to the show if he ever leaves. It’s a juicy, insightful read, but the highlight was a Taylor Swift anecdote that sparked a visceral reaction: I gasped so loudly and reflexively that the sudden, explosive interruption to the total silence in my apartment actually scared me.
In any case, the quick summary is that Michaels wanted Swift to appear in a “Bad Blood” parody that framed her girl gang as a cult. She personally called him to say absolutely not, and to demand the sketch not air. In the end, it was Swift who wound up kissing the ring. Read the whole anecdote below:
This Is the Kind of Gossip We Crave
I clicked so fast on the tell-all about the disastrous production of the new Marvel movie headlined “‘I Think Everyone Knew This Is Probably Not Going to Be a Good Film’” that I think I sprained my pointer finger and shattered my computer’s mousepad.
The Vulture piece has an anonymous source who worked on Captain America: Brave New World dishing about everything catastrophic and messy that went on behind-the-scenes. Everything from cranky actors to nerves about MAGA reaction is cited. But here is the quote I’m living for: “Everyone kind of felt their buttholes tightening a little bit.” I think this phrase should be used more often when talking about how things at work are going pretty badly.
How was it for me trying to get this newsletter out on time this week? Well, everyone kind of felt their buttholes tightening a little bit. In this case, that’s me, the bird on my fire escape who won’t shut up, and the ghost who lives in the corner of the closet. Touch-and-go for a bit there. Buttholes tight.
Happy Valentine’s Day
I do not have a Valentine this year. But Cosmopolitan did gift me—I like to think me, personally—this photo shoot of The Traitors breakout Dylan Efron. Thanks, Cosmo!
What to watch this week:
The Gorge: A horror-action-thriller-supernatural-romance. Something for everyone. (Now on Apple TV+)
Paddington in Peru: The hero we all need right now! (Now in theaters)
The White Lotus: Don’t worry, it’s great! Yay! (Sun. on HBO)
Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy: May the make these movies forever. (Now on Peacock)
What to skip this week:
Captain America: Brave New World: My colleague liked this, but I don’t believe him! (Now in theaters)
Yellowjackets: Remember when this was TV’s coolest show? (Now on Paramount+ With Showtime)
