(Warning: This post contains spoilers for the CW’s FBoy Island Season 3, Episode 7.)
If there’s one word that FBoy Island-favorite Mercedes loves, it’s “goofy.” The Bro Chateau’s most fashion-conscious resident drops that word all the time, and this week, the descriptor gets even more play during a game of impressions—in which multiple guys impersonate Mercedes by donning a bandanna and assuming his usual bravado. But during the tense final moments of this Friday’s episode, Mercedes found a new word to describe those whose choices he derides: “simp.”
For those who’ve never visited the Island, it’s a delightful social experiment in which three women work their way through a bunch of shirtless suitors—all of whom either came into the game as Nice Guys (meaning, they’re down to split the $100,000 prize money) or FBoys, who retain the option to run off with the cash. This week, host Nikki Glaser put the guys on the spot just like she did last season, forcing them to show their cards at last. While most results were far from shocking, a few left the women furious. That would include Mercedes, who apparently entered the game once again as an FBoy.
Hali Okeowo, who now finds herself stuck with three FBoys to choose from, was not happy to hear this news. Still, Mercedes insisted it shouldn’t have caught her by surprise.
“Honestly,” Mercedes said, “I don’t think you ever thought I was a Nice Guy. We talked about what I thought a Nice Guy was. I think it’s a simp—a person who has no backbone, who can be taken advantage of. Who can be blinded by love. And I can’t.”
I might quibble with the word choice, but Mercedes isn’t totally wrong in saying that there’s little reason to enter the game as a Nice Guy. Sure, you’ll have your morals, but that’s… about it. Nice Guys tend to finish last on this beach. Two out of three men selected in Season 1 were FBoys, including the infamous Garrett—who tried to run off with the money before finding out it would all be donated to charity instead. In Season 2, both women who chose a man knowingly picked FBoys; Louise Barnard even opted for FBoy Mercedes over Nice Guy Benedict—who also returned this season to vie for former Bachelorette Katie Thurston. (Tamaris Sepulveda, who chose to keep the money for herself in Season 2, ditched two Nice Guys to do so.)
The leading women on this show might want a man they can trust, but in the end, they often go by chemistry instead. More importantly, this show has proven time and time again that self-proclaimed Nice Guys can be total jerks. (See: Nyk’s “unbelievable” blowup earlier this season.) Mercedes might’ve been flailing to save himself from elimination, but as far as he’s probably concerned, that’s better than being a “goofy” Nice Guy. Plus, he takes care to emphasize, he did split the money with Louise last season. Whether or not that’ll be enough to smooth things over with Hali remains to be seen.
No one’s having an easy time this week, least of all Hali. The 28-year-old model from New York felt like she was making progress with one of her top picks, Evander, who she was sure was a Nice Guy. And yet, he let her down just like Mercedes and Elijah. After last week’s round of “Douche Tank,” Elijah and his twin brother Keem seemed extremely suspicious, and while Keem went home, Elijah managed to make it through. That might change now.
Meanwhile, professional snowboarder Daniella Grace is also feeling the heat. Sure, her most wholesome pick, Christian, is a Nice Guy (duh), but then there are CJ and Jared, who are both FBoys. Jared has spent weeks badmouthing Daniella behind her back, but it’s still unclear if she’s ready to send him home; even after finding out he’s an FBoy, she seems hesitant. Hopefully, she follows her gut in a different direction. She and Christian had a very cute, very wholesome skateboarding date, even if it didn’t end in the shower like her one-on-one with CJ.
And then there’s Katie, who now finds herself in a bit of a pickle: On one hand, she’s got the sweet, over-eager fellow dating show alum Vince; on the other, she’s got the very hot, very toned, very tan fellow comedian Benedict. Vince is more reliable, and Benedict is more unpredictable.
Vince is the kind of guy who thinks he can get away with telling a former Bachelorette “I love you” before she’s adequately narrowed down her dating pool, and Benedict is the kind of guy who winces every time a guy like Vince says anything sentimental. And in the end, while Vince confirmed he’s a Nice Guy, Benedict shamelessly revealed that after entering as a Nice Guy last season, he’s returned as an FBoy. It was kind of obvious this was coming, and yet, it still really hurts!
But where does all this leave Marco, Katie’s obvious third choice who does at least get to reveal himself this week as a Nice Guy? Could this boost his rankings? Based on past precedent, I wouldn’t count on it. Then again, it’d be great to prove that Mercedes is the “goofy” one.
This post has been corrected to accurately state Hali’s age.
