If I were ever blessed with the power to convince the entire world to watch one television show, I would force everyone to watch FBoy Island. Raunchy, foolish, and totally entrancing, FBoy Island is nothing short of a masterpiece. All other reality programs should take notes from creator Elan Gale’s war of the fuckboys and the nice guys. The show is an accomplishment worthy of a Nobel Peace Prize, primarily for solving womankind’s uphill battle against idiotic men, but also for introducing me to the phrase “FBoy, FBye.”
As it heads into Season 3 on The CW—moving from its original home, Max, where it was wrongfully canceled last year—FBoy Island hasn’t changed a bit. Premiering Oct, 16 on The CW, the show is as genius as it has always been. The three girls feel the same as year’s past: There’s the presumptive “main character,” Katie Thurston of The Bachelorette, who’s flanked by her fellow daters and partners-in-crime, Daniella Grace and Hali Okeowo. All three have the same problem: They can’t stop dating emotionally unavailable “FBoys.”
Two-dozen men will be fighting for these ladies‘’ undying love. Half of the guys are labeled “Nice Guys,” supposedly sweet gentlemen who are looking for love. You might find an engagement ring ready in their suitcases. The other half, however, are self-proclaimed “FBoys,” men who will try to deceive the girls into thinking they’re good. If a girl ends up with a legitimate Nice Guy, the duo will split a $100,000 cash prize to continue their relationship together. But if she ends up with someone who turns out to be an FBoy, he’ll be given the chance to run away with the money on his own.
After we meet the women, who refreshingly never argue with one another amidst all of FBoy Island’s chaos, we’re onto this year’s offering of men. Host Nikki Glaser quips that there are hundreds of abs in the mix of guys, and within minutes, we’re seeing those six-packs. To introduce themselves to the girls, the men must undergo their first challenge: They have to put on a little show to entice their potential mates. Some guys do flips, while others simply unbutton their shirts. Some shake hands with the girls. Others choreograph dances with their new friends. The women wave green and red flags to signal who they want to see more of—a man who earns three green flags will earn extra time with the ladies.
The brilliance of FBoy Island lives in how unstructured each episode is. FBoy Island lets a gaggle of men loose and allows them to be jesters for an hour. Boys beg for kisses. They plead for five minutes of attention from the ladies. They cross their fingers for dates and shake their fists in the air when they’re not selected. By the end of each episode, three men are always eliminated, but there’s rarely any rhyme or reason for who the ladies vote off. Sometimes, they try to weed out the FBoys. But in the Season 3 premiere, for instance, one sweet guy is picked off because he smiles too much. We never see him talking to the women in the episode. Alas, by the elimination, when he can’t wipe a huge grin off his face, the ladies send him home. Why? Well, there doesn’t really need to be a “why,” but at least I’m keeled over in laughter.
(L-R) Daniella Grace, Hali Okeowo, and Katie Thurston.
Adam Rose/The CWThe pointlessness of the competition doesn’t matter, because watching the boys of FBoy Island is always the best part of the show: All of them are buffoons, but at least they’re almost always lovable weirdos. The series has a knack for casting three friendly ladies as our reliable narrators, but it’s even better at finding two-dozen dopes for us to laugh at. Why watch a handful of too-nice-to-be-true men on Ted Lasso when you could just watch men be captivating morons on FBoy Island?
Thankfully, only two noticeable changes are apparent in FBoy Island’s move to The CW. The first is that no one can swear anymore, but hearing a curse bleep in every other sentence is far more hilarious than hearing the actual words themselves. “I *bleep* love you, *bleep* Katie! *Bleep* kiss me! *Bleep!*” I’ll take that over hearing “fuck” any day. The second is equally humorous: FBoy Island seems to have cut a deal with Jose Cuervo. The amount of branded tequila sodas present in the series has skyrocketed between Season 2 and Season 3.
The cast of FBoy Island dances during season 3.
Adam Rose/The CWOther than those two modifications, FBoy Island is the same romp it’s always been. There are plenty of twists set up along the boys’ path to love like booby traps (ha, ha), an invigorating specialty of FBoy Island. Leaving the show with a real relationship remains uncertain. The only love that FBoy Island promises is the outpouring of affection viewers should all have for this show. The boys may not be able to commit to these women. But we need to continue devoting ourselves to the flawless, flirtatious FBoy Island.
