The House of the Dragon characters that aren’t related to each other would have to do something pretty bad to convince fans that their relationship is worse than the show’s incestuous couple—shoutout to Rhaenyra (Emma D’Arcy) and her uncle Daemon (Matt Smith). Yet in the Season 2 premiere, two cruel people found a way to outdo the incest madness. Never doubt the House of the Dragon folks to do the grossest sex thing you’ve seen all week!
(Warning: Spoilers for the House of the Dragon Season 2 premiere.)
In Season 2’s first episode, Alicent (Olivia Cooke) and Ser Criston Cole (Fabien Frankel) make their galling return. The pair have been working together since Rhaenyra rejected Criston in the middle of Season 1—and now, they’re getting down and dirty. Alicent’s grand return to House of the Dragon sees her exclaiming in a chair and Criston on his knees, getting to work beneath her dress.
Viewers’ immediate response: Um. Gross. Is it possible to unsee this?
It’s not as gross as it is just purely annoying. Criston Cole used to be a real hunk. His romance with Rhaenyra was steamy, forbidden, magical—and now I’m over here wincing at him pleasuring a woman. Alicent is such a weasel that it’s impossible to root for them as a couple. Of course she’s shirking her duties at the royal table to screw around with her ex-best friend’s ex.
And it only gets worse. As Alicent’s busy getting laid, her grandson—the heir to the Iron Throne!—is being slain by two intruders a few rooms over. Her daughter, poor Queen Helaena (Phia Saban), watches as young Jaehaerys is beheaded. Then, Helaena has to see another grisly scene: Alicent, her mother, bouncing up and down on Criston Cole. Alicent! Worry about the ongoing war, my girl!
Just…no. I had to watch through my fingers. This universe has given us beheadings, blood, guts, dragon maulings, and yet, this was one of the most unwatchable TV moments in recent memory. Alicent and Criston simply do not belong together. Fans were blasting Alicent and Criston all over social media on Sunday night as they watched the madness.
Viewers felt the most hatred towards Criston, who has become a real villain in the show: “Criston is just like all the other incels; rejected by a girl once and he makes it his entire personality for the rest of his life,” one X user shared. “A fucking loser.”
While I agree with the sentiment, a key part of being an incel is being celibate—something that, unfortunately, Criston Cole is not.
