We’ve all quarantine-binged our fair share of television over the last few years. I did the light stuff. Six seasons of Gossip Girl, 244 episodes of Love Island, and a rewatch of the first seven seasons of Degrassi: The Next Generation. Last month, HBO Max not only acquired all of the Degrassi catalog for streaming on their platform, but they have also announced a reboot, news that I am both excited and terrified about.
Degrassi is the reason I am the woman I am today. It is the reason I will never consider Drake a sex symbol (he will always be Aubrey to me). It’s the reason I tried to make Manny Santo’s catchphrase “coocoo bananas” a thing. And it is the reason why I suck at dating.
In Season 2, Degrassi introduced a Grade 9 student named Craig Manning, who was played by Jake Epstein. Craig was tall, had a head full of curly hair, and had trauma out the wazoo. I loved him.
Season after season, Craig would prove to be the worst boyfriend in the world. But instead of thinking that Craig’s girlfriends should simply leave him, I would be rooting for Craig to just be better. Please, Craig, stop dating two women at the same time. Please, Craig, don’t choose cocaine over your girlfriend. Please, Craig, stop dating two women at the same time. No matter what Craig did, it was impossible for me to stay mad at him. I would patiently wait for Craig to be the boyfriend I knew he could be.
Flash forward 15 years. For a while, that stick-with-it attitude when it comes to men that I should just break up was my relationship calling card. In fact, the one lesson I have learned from my dating history is that if I were dating him a year or two ago, Craig Manning would have literally ruined my life. Through every twist and turn marked with cheating, dishonesty, and altogether toxic behavior, all it would have taken was a cheeky smile and a cute song, and I would be back in the Craig Manning web of shit. Don’t believe me? Just ask my friends, my therapist, and the journal I only use whenever a guy I was dating started to Craig Manning me.
I thank HBO Max’s acquisition of Degrassi for this realization. This last month of working my way back through a beloved series has opened my eyes to the ways in which the characters I swooned over, even problematically, have influenced how I feel about, and how I navigate, dating. It’s a wild experience to revisit a series that was so formative later in life, when you’re older and (hopefully) wiser. I can now see exactly how shows like Degrassi have made a mark on me—good and bad.
But we all have our Craig Manning, don’t we?
For some, it’s Gossip Girl’s Chuck Bass, possible sociopath and confirmed shitty boyfriend. Others just couldn’t stay mad at Schmidt from New Girl, with his over-the-top (read: boundary-shattering) behavior. I’ve never watched The Sopranos or Succession, but after consulting some very trusted people, they assured me that characters like Chris Soprano and Kendall Roy also fit the bill.
Even anthropomorphic assholes, like Bojack Horseman, got my undeserved sympathy. Bojack Horseman really switched up the game by explicitly reminding us that even if someone feels bad, it doesn’t justify what they’ve done. And it doesn’t mean that we should forgive them. But goddamn it, I couldn’t help but feel bad for Bojack. And forgive him. Over and over.
I’m not Mother Teresa. There’s no way that the reason I forgive men who hurt me, others, and themselves is because I’m just so kind and nurturing. Instead, rather than dealing with the person, or removing myself from the situation entirely, I would try to make the problems go away. I would try to fix them. Craig Manning types were my ultimate kryptonite. I would literally go down with the ship, in hopes that I can somehow make things better.
So, how do we stop this? We can always just stop dating Craig. But believe me, it’s not always that easy. The heart tends to want what it wants. There is something to be said about not holding out for someone’s potential. Taking them for what they are and not trying to mold them into the fantasy you’ve created for them.
But at the same time, keeping a Craig in your life is a recipe for disaster. Whether or not Craig or people like Craig are good people who make poor decisions is inconsequential to us. If someone is having an affair with someone in Grade 10 or blaming their coke addiction on you, you’ve got to end things.
My Degrassi rewatch experience made me think about the alternative, about shows that gave me a good model for relationships. For me, I think of a show like Shameless. Even though Shameless itself was rife with toxic relationships, over the course of 11 seasons, I got to watch a couple like Veronica and Kevin. Not only were they both incredibly hot (which is very important), but they actually had a strong relationship, which we saw continue to evolve and grow stronger, even as they faced challenges along the way. Seeing something like that made me realize that I didn’t need to be in relationships with people like Craig, where the person I was with was the source of conflict. Instead I could strive to be with someone where we handled conflict together.
All this being said, even to this day, when I rewatch Degrassi, I still find myself rooting for Craig. Because even though the show was filmed more than 20 years ago, I still feel like Craig will be different this time. Maybe it’s the HBO high-definition.
Here’s the silver lining. Most Craigs are not stagnant characters on a TV screen. I (still) wholeheartedly believe in people’s capacity to change. If you are a Craig Manning reading this right now, please hear our pleas. For the love of God. Just be better.
