Of Course ‘Ted’ Is the Internet’s New Favorite Show

The first hit show of 2024 might surprise you—it also might disgust you, thanks to a blunt, R-rated main character. One might think the latest season of True Detective would take the cake, or that the backstabbing reality superstars of The Traitors would grab everyone’s attention. No, an oversized, audacious, horny teddy bear has stolen TV viewers’ hearts instead, pleasing the masses with pornos and colonoscopies.

Everyone on the internet is obsessed with Ted—it’s 2012 all over again. Nothing has ever screamed “January brain” more than the hype surrounding Peacock’s prequel series based on the original film. We’re all trying to get back into the swing of things at work, and struggling to keep up with our resolutions—does anyone actually want to watch those artsy-fartsy Oscar movies right now? Hell no! Give me the teddy bear who hires prostitutes and confronts Jesus at a urinal instead. (Kidding: I do love those artsy-fartsy Oscar movies, too.)

In the original movie, we follow a 35-year-old Bostonian named John (Mark Wahlberg), who has shared his living space with Ted, his talking plushie, since he was in grade school. Ted is John’s longtime best friend, close confidante, and just as crass, horny, and lively. Writer/director Seth MacFarlane—who also created and directed the new series—co-stars as the titular fuzzball, voicing and performing motion capture for the little guy.

The show, meanwhile, flashes back to Ted and John’s (Max Burkholder) teenage years, in which John is teased at school and Ted fights back. The original story is still true: At eight years old, John wished for his teddy bear to come to live—and it worked. In fact, it never stopped working. In the series, Ted still behaves like a 35 year old, teaching teenage John about the facts of life: how to evade bullies, how to rent adult films, and how to get his annoying cousin Blaire (Giorgia Whigham) to shut the hell up.

Ted was not made to win Emmys, nor is it supposed to make you think—in fact, the opposite; it is perfect for turning your brain off for the evening. It’s pure escapism. After watching Ted, I wouldn’t mind adopting a fluffy creature who calls my haters ugly and argues with my parents at the dinner table. Seems fun—like having a walking internal monologue, almost, but cuter.

The one-liners are hilarious, a part of the show that social media users have delighted in sharing to viral success. Ted insults bullies by pointing out their nose jobs and the fact that their father is actually their uncle. He says “Fuck you, Johnny,” to his best friend, as if there’s an acerbic hairball constantly caught in his throat. Ted is an icon.

But Ted is more than just a social media phenomenon. It’s shocking, I know, but the show itself is…dare I say it…quite good.

A few examples of some of the wild storylines: John’s dad (Scott Grimes) refuses to get a colonoscopy, because he’s afraid that, when he goes under, he’ll spill all of his personal secrets about seducing a dog in Vietnam. Ted and John adopt the high school bully, pretending to be his dad over the phone and eventually hiring a theater actor (currently starring in local production of Pippen, an important detail) to play him in person.

And here’s another thing: Ted has renewed my faith in visual effects in television. After watching weeks and weeks worth of CGI-heavy TV shows on Disney+ (Percy Jackson, Ahsoka, Secret Invasion), my eyes have grown weary from the dark worlds and unrealistic characters. “If I have to watch more terrible visual effects on TV,” I said to myself, heading into 2024, “I may quit watching entirely.”

Ted doesn’t take itself seriously in any sense other than its animation. It’s important that we believe Ted is a real, walking, talking bear. The joke is not that Ted looks unrealistic and out of place. The bit, instead, is that Ted has become a normal part of life for all of these characters. But incorporating him into every scene of the show couldn’t have been an easy task, and I applaud the artists who made it work.

If the first big show of the year should serve as any indication of how 2024 will go, we’re in for a good time full of weed, porn, and our childhood toys. Ted has many merits—it’s got mindless humor, MacFarlane brings touches of Family Guy into the mix, and it’s not as full of itself as plenty of other “prestige” TV shows—so it makes perfect sense that it’s finding such a large audience. Now, show us Ted and Johnny in their roaring 20s!