There comes a time in every young woman’s life when she must make a special salad dressing. This marks a turning point in her life, a bridging between young adulthood and the rest of her days, because it will forever affect the outcome of the life that lies ahead of her. This salad dressing must be very, very special, because her entire future hinges on just how tasty it is.
For me, that day was yesterday. Following in the footsteps of Olivia Wilde and Nora Ephron (two idols of mine, believe it or not), I made my very own special salad dressing, in honor of the great Harry Styles/Jason Sudeikis debacle of 2022. (You can watch my efforts on TikTok.) I wonder what Nora Ephron would’ve said to all of this drama. Probably nothing. If she did, trust that it would’ve been witty, snarky, and accurate.
If you’ve somehow avoided all the Don’t Worry Darling drama—it’s hard to believe this has been going on for years now—there’s been an update to the timeline. According to a bombshell (and possibly fake) interview with their nanny, Olivia Wilde and her ex Jason Sudeikis used to have big fights while the former was off seeing her boyfriend, Harry Styles. In one hyper specific instance, Sudeikis was driven mad with envy after Wilde made her “special salad dressing” for Styles, and in their family kitchen, he chased her down.
As the news broke, everyone scrambled to find the dressing. Folks quickly located a vinaigrette from Wilde’s appearance on Questlove’s Potluck in 2020, where she cooked a recipe for roasted salmon salad, zucchini, and potatoes. But this wasn’t exactly the vinaigrette. Later, Wilde settled the debate herself, posting a snippet from Nora Ephron’s Heartburn (a very good book with quick, easy recipes) on her Instagram story.
@thedailybeast We made #OliviaWilde's *special* salad dressing (aka #NoraEphron's salad dressing), so you don't have to. Is it worth all the buzz? Watch and find out! #noraephronfall #oliviawildesalad #harrystyles #jasonsudeikis #saladdressing #foodtok ♬ original sound - The Daily Beast
Here’s what the recipe reads: “Mix 2 tablespoons Grey Poupon mustard with 2 tablespoons good red wine vinegar. Then, whisking constantly with a fork, slowly add 6 tablespoons olive oil, until the vinaigrette is thick and creamy; this makes a very strong vinaigrette that’s perfect for salad greens like arugula and watercress and endive.”
Easy enough. Another food blog I follow religiously, Food52, posted an update adding shallots to the mix. I’m a sucker for shallots, so I decided to throw some in to make it my own special salad dressing.
Normally, when I make salad dressing, I plunge myself into a whole Molly Baz caesar salad (which she does call “Cae Sal,” but I’ll save myself from embarrassment here and stick to the full words), separating egg yolks, smashing anchovies, and cracking fresh pepper into the mix. So, with just four ingredients on my table, I felt relieved. Maybe I could switch to this recipe once and for all.
I didn’t have arugula and watercress and endive stocked, but I did have something similar: Trader Joe’s “Dill-icious” dill pickle chopped salad, which is a real treat. Seriously, if you haven’t tried this salad kit, it’s a steal—and it’s only around for a limited time, so run to Trader Joe’s. Here’s what’s in it, per Trader Joe’s website: “an impossibly crisp parade of chopped cauliflower, radishes, red & green cabbage, green leaf lettuce, and kale, buoyed by the dill-ightfully tangy crunch of our very own Chips In A Pickle Dill Flavored Potato Chips.”
This does come with a scrumptious creamy dill dressing, but I decided to save that for another salad later down the road. I tossed the chips in with the “crisp parade” of greens, then readied my dressing.
How easy! It really takes no time to make. Swirl your red wine vinegar in with the mustard, then, slowly, press the olive oil in with a fork. (Tip: Keep olive oil stocked from Costco, if you’re not picky about the taste.) I added shallots later. Pour over salad. Enjoy!
The actual taste, though, is where I get a little lost. It’s…fine. In fact, there’s too much dijon, but perhaps I didn’t have enough greens to balance out the bite. It was good, but I always enjoy a zap of citrus or a smattering of herbs in my salad dressings, so I think I’ll stick to Molly Baz’s caesar salad and Newman’s Own classic olive oil and vinegar.
I still recommend purchasing Heartburn and snagging other recipes from the novel. (If you search “Heartburn recipes” online, you’re going to get a bunch of dishes that will prevent acid reflux, with no input from Nora Ephron.) Yet, this specific salad dressing can’t be good enough to drive anyone wild.
But when I think about it, I am a woman, and a woman with taste at that. So, would this make a man fall in love? Maybe—if he had simple taste. This whole dressing affair probably reveals more about Harry Styles and Jason Sudeikis, who have shown their lack of flavor when it comes to salad dressings.
