This week:
- The disturbing reason people are angry about Monsters.
- The greatest mystery of our time.
- A core childhood memory comes back, wildly.
- The perfect photo.
A Big Gay Ole Marvel Time
I was shocked and dismayed to watch the first two episodes of Agatha All Along on Disney+ this week and not once see butt sex.
All week long I’ve read headlines trumpeting that the new series, a spinoff of WandaVision featuring Kathryn Hahn’s breakout character, is Marvel’s “gayest” project yet.
That’s admittedly a low bar for a Cinematic Universe whose only catering to a queer audience thus far is a scene of Chris Evans shirtless as Captain America. (For which we’ve always been grateful!) But the amount of discussion the supposed queerness of Agatha All Along sparked recently piqued my flaming self’s curiosity. Star Aubrey Plaza even went so far as to say, “It will be a gay explosion by the end of it.”
Now, short of Céline Dion and Kylie Minogue showing up in “Free Britney” T-shirts to perform a medley of songs from Mamma Mia!, I’m not quite sure what could possibly happen in this show to constitute a “gay explosion.” Nonetheless, I approached my viewing of the first episodes journalistically, as an investigation.
Is Agatha All Along “the gayest show on Marvel,” as co-star Ali Ahn says? Well, yes.
Hahn and Plaza play witches who are former lovers, and every interaction of theirs is an erotically charged flirt-argument. Their first hand-to-hand combat fight is very Mr. and Mrs. Smith coded (i.e. hot). Heartstopper star Joe Locke plays an aspiring witch named Teen, who is established early on to have a boyfriend whom he is avoiding. So there are actual queer characters in the series, which by default earns it recognition as a veritable Pride Parade by Marvel standards.
Heck, Patti LuPone is in this show, and she sings. That makes the series automatically GLAAD-endorsed.
But there’s a difference between the questions “is it gay?” and “how gay is it?”
The first two episodes center around Agatha (Hahn) and Teen (Locke) recruiting witches for a coven to travel with down the dangerous Witches’ Road, at the end of which the group’s various magical problems will be solved. There’s something about witches and witchiness that is inherently sapphic, so there’s already a baseline of gayness,. That’s only supercharged by the fact that several of the witches are, again, also queer and/or Patti LuPone.
There’s a level of camp to the show—the entrance to the Witches’ Road is summoned by the coven singing in perfect harmony. Four of the six leads are character actresses over the age of 40, a demographic of performers that I can authoritatively say that the gay community rallies around.
But the “gay explosion,” at least so far, seems to be mostly a tease.
What’s remarkable and refreshing about the series is this matter-of-factness with which the characters’ queer identities are introduced. When the relationship history between Hahn and Plaza’s characters is revealed, it’s no more of a bombshell than in any other TV pilot in which a straight character’s ex arrives to stir up drama.
“What is the most exciting thing about it is that’s not exactly what it’s about,” Hahn has said. “It’s so normalized.”
On the one hand, that is nice and exciting, especially for a Marvel series. On the other hand, if you tell me I’m getting a “gay explosion,” I’m expecting a witches’ orgy while Chappell Roan plays in the background.
The unabashed, enthusiastic hype from the cast about the show’s queerness—let alone the show’s release this week—has interesting timing. It coincides with recent reports that the filmmakers behind Inside Out 2 received notes from Disney/Pixar to make the character of Riley, who becomes obsessed with an older girl on her hockey team, appear “less gay.” Apparently the panic was spurned by the disappointing box office receipts for last year’s Lightyear, which included a same-sex kiss.
It seems to forever be a one step forward, two steps back situation when it comes to representation with Disney. The queerness of Agatha All Along suggests there’s a more inclusive light at the end of the MCU tunnel—or, at the very least, at the end of the Witches’ Road.
I Need Answers
During a red carpet interview at Sunday night’s Emmy Awards, Reese Witherspoon revealed that, while she is not a consumer of Bravo reality TV (can’t relate!), she recently sat next to a Real Housewife on a flight. They apparently hit it off so well that Witherspoon now wants to collaborate on a project with her.
It’s a simultaneously cute and infuriating story. Reese, WHO IS THIS HOUSEWIFE?!?!
It borders on a hate crime against the gays to tease a story like this without telling us who the Housewife is.
Speculation has run wild, though with rather obvious guesses: It’s probably one of the Housewives who has a background in acting and performing, like Lisa Rinna, Kyle Richards, Erika Jayne, Luann de Lesseps, or Bethenny Frankel. I want it to be more chaotic than that.
I want to find out that Reese Witherspoon had her ear talked off by Sonja Morgan delivering an unhinged six-and-a-half-hour monologue on a cross-country flight. Tell me that Karen Huger sat down next to Witherspoon, acting like an industry peer, assuming that Witherspoon knew exactly who she was. What if she and Mary Cosby sat there doling out cutting, cruel comments about other passengers’ fashion as they walked past them down the aisle?
Reese Witherspoon, we demand answers. Immediately.
An Unbelievable Twist
As I spent the last weeks shaking my head in dismay and disgust over the outrageous, fabricated story pushed by Donald Trump, JD Vance, and their campaign that immigrants in Ohio were kidnapping and eating cats and dogs, I never expected the latest twist to involve one of my favorite childhood movies.
It was revealed this week that the missing cat whose disappearance led to a police report that kicked off this whole fiasco returned home safe and sound—well, actually, had been hiding in the basement the whole time. The cat’s name is Miss Sassy, which, elder millennials such as myself will recall, is the name of the cat that returns home after going missing in the 1993 film Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey.
My siblings and I laughed and cried at that movie more times that I can recall. I could perform the entire film’s script for you right now, off-book—especially the role of Sassy, who was voiced by Sally Field.
I don’t know whether the confluence of this childhood memory and this horrifying news story is delightful or disturbing. But, like everything involved in our existence in the year 2024, it was certainly surprising.
Jaw on the Floor
Nothing that happened at the Emmy Awards matters as much to me as how unbelievable Christine Baranski looks in this gold Oscar de la Renta gown. The full body jolt and scream I let out when I was scrolling through X and saw a photo of the look for the first time may be the most energy I’ve expended this week.
More From The Daily Beast’s Obsessed
Sebastian Stan talks about his Oscar-worthy performance in A Different Man and playing Donald Trump in the headline-making film The Apprentice. Read more.
Michael Sheen talks about portraying Prince Andrew in A Very Royal Scandal, a new series about the humiliating interview that led to his downfall. Read more.
An excerpt from a new book about the Disney Channel’s heyday describing what really happened during Demi Lovato’s dark days as a Disney star. Read more.
What to watch this week:
The Substance: The Demi Moore movie is both the grossest and the sexiest movie of the year. (Now in theaters)
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City: After an all-time-great Housewives season, the Season 5 premiere did not disappoint. (Wednesdays on Bravo)
A Different Man: The psychosexual thriller is a wild ride, with Sebastian Stan’s best performance of his career. (Now in theaters)
American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez: The tragic rise and fall of the one-time NFL phenom makes for a gripping watch. (Tuesdays on FX)
What to skip this week:
Monsters: The Lyle and Eric Hernandez Story: Great performances and stylistic flourishes can’t make up for the icky exploitation of a disturbing story. (Now on Netflix)
Agatha All Along: It’s fun! But is that enough? (Now on Disney+)