Update: Gwyneth Paltrow confirmed on Goop's Instagram that the diapér "is a fake product meant to shine a light on a real problem," the diaper tax.
Meet the diapér.
In just three words, Goop changed the course of our lazy hump day afternoons. Gwyneth Paltrow’s wellness (Beauty? Lifestyle? Mumbo jumbo? Whatever you want to call it.) company has announced their next product, and this one’s really giving the Jade Egg a run for its money—if it’s a real thing.
Via the company’s Instagram account, Goop announced they’ll be selling a luxury diaper for babies. The lucky infants will rest their tush on a “disposable diaper lined with virgin alpaca wool and fastened with amber gemstones, known for their ancient emotional-cleansing properties.” And here’s where the caption confirms that the diapér is actually for wee ones: “Infused with a scent of jasmine and bergamot for a revitalized baby.”
What is a revitalized baby? Aren’t all babies full of new life? Either way, if you think you might have one of those special “revitalized” babies, you’ll be able to purchase one of these hot commodities at the low price of $120 for 12 diapérs. Not too bad, considering a single Jade Egg will run you $66.
Avid Goop fans and haters alike came together to analyze the monstrosity. Is it real? (The Daily Beast has reached out to Goop to confirm the diapér’s existence. We have yet to hear back.) Are people actually going to buy this thing? Will it have an even higher resale value? Or is Goop playing us all?
“Meanwhile people are still struggling to find baby formula!!!” one Twitter user fumed. “EAT THE RICH.”
Don’t get your nappies in a bunch quite yet, guys. Gwyneth might be playing us, this time. After all of the wellness retreats, pseudoscience, and vagina candles, this diapér passed as a real product. But according to some comments on Goop’s Instagram, Paltrow has been working to take down the diaper tax, and her new “diapér” product is a bit of satire to highlight the issues of pricey pull-ups.
“Gwyneth was just on CBS Sunday Morning speaking about her privilege never having to worry about the cost of diapers and how they are taxed as luxury goods in 33 states,” one Instagram user commented on the post. “Then asked viewers to go to GOOP to learn more. It was probably intended to grab your attention to bring awareness to the issue.”
This is true—in fact, Paltrow penned an entire op-ed about the pains of motherhood for CBS News, and directly targets the diaper tax. While she does complain about having to mother her two children, Apple and Moses Martin, Paltrow says this diaper tax is the most concerning aspect of young motherhood.
“I never had to think about the cost of diapers, never once, until recently when my team at Goop brought it up. We were talking about the diaper tax,” Paltrow writes. “Despite the absolute necessity of diapers, in 33 states they're taxed like a luxury good. Depending on the state, this sales tax can add between 1.5 and 7 percent to their cost. This makes diapers the fourth highest household expense for many low-income families.”
Goop has also published an explainer about keeping diapers safe for babies on their wellness blog, featuring in-house scientist/entrepreneur (?) Christopher Gavigan walking Goopsters through the diaper landscape.
“Perhaps to disguise the toxic stink of those unpronounceable VOCs and smells, manufacturers also often add a questionable ingredients such as ‘fragrance,’” Gavigan writes, “which can actually be made up of hundreds of other chemicals and may contain everything from known allergens and carcinogens to hormone-disrupting phthalates (so a trojan horse of harsh chemicals not ever disclosed to consumers).”
With that logic, Goop would never be pushing a fragrance-heavy diapér on babies, right? Right? There’s a fine line between satire and authentic chaos, and after Gwyneth Paltrow ate her own vagina candle during the Super Bowl, it’s safe to say Goop has erased it completely.
