At some point in my life, I became a person for whom the peak of entertainment is “this rich lady is gonna go to jail.” Which is to say, the trailer for the new season of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is very meaningful to me.
All Bravo fans have been anticipating how the new season of the series is going to handle the drama surrounding Jen Shah, who recently pled guilty to wire fraud in a telemarketing scheme that targeted senior citizens. She faces up to 14 years in prison. As she awaits sentencing, she is appearing on a reality show that, in the new trailer, features her throwing her shoes off a yacht in a fit of rage.
Legal troubles seem to follow Real Housewives around like a shadow. Season 3 of RHOSLC seems to take place almost entirely in the shade of this legal battle. At one point, Shah is seen passing the blame off on her former business partner, whom she referred to cavalierly on the show as her “first assistant,” Stuart Smith. The situation seems to be so volatile that when one of the cast member’s husbands asks if any of the Housewives have actually asked Shah if she is guilty, they all stare at him blank-faced.
Now, trailers are an art form, and so we are compelled to give credit where it’s due. This clip is a masterpiece.
People who notoriously have the most ridiculous diction and manner of speaking are quoted in a dramatic fashion, as if they are poet laureates. The music evokes an opera, or the score that strikes up in an action movie right before a hero is going to battle. God himself is invoked.
Everything is treated with utmost seriousness, and then, with perfect comedic timing, cast member Heather Gay takes off her sunglassses to reveal some unexplained ailment with her eye, a sight gag (heh) for the ages.
In a montage, we then see the cast twerking in bondage-themed outfits. One is in a bathtub with her husband, who is asking her to please not put her foot near his “taint.” Someone eats absolute shit while skiing down a mountain, another’s son reveals his explosive future plans—”fudge college, honestly”—and people cry about being excommunicated from the Mormon church, being disowned by their families, trauma from their childhood, and maybe going to jail for more than a decade because of an alleged scam that funded their extravagant lifestyle.
This is prestige television, people.
Original cast members Heather Gay, Whitney Rose, Lisa Barlow, Meredith Marks, and Shah are returning. (Mary Cosby, the preacher of a church accused of being a cult and had married her step-grandfather in order to inherit the religious fortune, is not returning.) There will be two Angies this season as “friend of” cast—Katsanevas and instant Bravo icon from last season, Harrington—and Danna Bui-Negrete, who speaks the words “now he’s an informant” in the trailer for a Bravo reality series, is also joining.
The series returns Sept. 28 on Bravo.
