John Mulaney Opens Up About His Drug Dealer and Rehab During Hilarious SNL Monologue

‘A VERY COMPLICATED YEAR’

“Do you know how bad of a drug problem you have to have if when you open a door and see people gathered, your first thought is, ‘This is probably an intervention,’” he joked.

John Mulaney performing his SNL monologue.
NBC

Following a month-long break, Saturday Night Live returned this week to the unenviable task of trying to find comedy amidst Russia’s horrific invasion of Ukraine. So instead of the traditional cold open, cast members Kate McKinnon and Cecily Strong introduced a solemn song from the Ukrainian Chorus Dumka of New York.

That meant it was up to host John Mulaney, joining the coveted Five-Timers Club, to deliver the first jokes of the night.

“After a very complicated year, it is wonderful to be in a place that has always emphasized sobriety and mental health,” the comedian began, before trying out some new material about his intervention, subsequent stint in rehab, and the birth of his baby son.

​​”When I walked into my intervention, I knew right away that it was an intervention,” he said. “Do you know how bad of a drug problem you have to have if when you open a door and see people gathered, your first thought is, ‘This is probably an intervention about my drug problem?’”

Noting that he was in rehab from December 2020 until February 2021, Mulaney said, “I was there on January 6th, during the insurrection. Wouldn’t have happened on my watch. Because I would have seen to it. Was there ever an insurrection before I went to rehab? No! Has there been one since I got out? Absolutely not. They wouldn’t dare! They know Baby J is back on the streets.”

He also revealed that when he “broke up” with his drug dealer from rehab, the man replied, “I only bought drugs to sell to you because I was worried about you and I didn’t want you to get worse stuff off the street."

“I know! And I’m breaking up with this guy?” Mulaney quipped.

Later, the comedian moved on to some jokes about the moment he knew his 12-week-old son with actress Olivia Munn was definitely his. Imitating the way he grimaced and covered his eyes when they placed him on the warmer in the delivery room, Mulaney said, “He was annoyed, but he didn’t say anything. And I was like, ‘That’s my son.’ A polite man in an uncomfortable situation, but he’s not going to make a fuss.”

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