“She’s 19” is trending on Twitter this morning, and it has nothing to do with the age of Leonardo DiCapro’s new girlfriend. Instead, everyone is taking to their timelines to gossip about 19-year-old Millie Bobby Brown. For her entire career, the Stranger Things star’s every move has lit up the internet for one reason or another—and today, it’s because she got engaged.
Brown’s objectively sweet engagement post—shared on Instagram this morning to her nearly 63 million followers—shows her in a bear hug with her now-fiancé, 20-year-old Jake Bongiovi. (Yes, he’s Jon Bon Jovi’s son.) She’s got a band on her ring finger, where she’s never been seen wearing one before. The caption, in perfect 19-year-old fashion, borrows from Taylor Swift’s “Lover”: “I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, I want ’em all.”
That’s an engagement announcement if I’ve ever seen one. But between the timing—Swift only just broke up with “Lover” inspo Joe Alwyn, like, 10 minutes ago!—and Brown’s age, the discourse has diverged in every possible direction. (Note that it’s only been five or so hours since Brown’s post went up.)
For some critics, Brown’s engagement seems like an ill-advised move for a couple so young. Pleas for Brown to “not rush” into marriage at her age—neither one is old enough to drink yet!—run rampant. It doesn’t matter if she (and Bongiovi) are financially stable, they add; too young is too young.
True or not on the finance front, this argument does run the risk of infantilizing Brown. Yes, she plays a character named “Eleven” on the beloved Stranger Things, but the actress has showcased a maturity beyond her years since the start of her career. That maturity has, however, incited much backlash—to the point where Brown left TikTok due to widespread harassment. (Common complaints include that she looks older than her age, comes off as rude in interviews, and has exhibited problematic behavior on-set.) People were right to be mad at Drake for claiming to have a texting relationship with Brown when she was 14—but directing that anger at Brown is misplaced.
Perhaps that’s why, for all the people aghast at Brown’s engagement, there are as many who are using this as a chance to dunk on themselves. “She’s 19 and the guy is 20,” one representative tweet reads. “And then there’s me, 21 and haven’t had one single boyfriend ever 😭” As someone who didn’t have a boyfriend until she was [redacted], I feel this very intensely. Comparing yourself to a successful Netflix star is a fool’s errand, but when you’re already feeling pitiful, that comparison feels inevitable. Whether it’s Brown or your random former classmate, learning that someone your age or younger has found the love of their life while you eat Oreos on the couch alone feels bad, man.
That said, at least people are being supportive in the replies for all the sad sacks out there. Sometimes, the internet is good.
And then there is the Swift of it all. It’s a delicate (sorry) time for Swifties right now, and Brown invoking one of the artist’s most romantic songs isn’t helping. Reports that Swift and longtime boyfriend Alwyn broke up trickled out over the weekend, ravaging group chats and subreddits for untold amounts of time. The Swifties are raw, and Brown calling attention to an Alwyn-inspired love song sure ain’t helping.
Let it be known: Everything comes back to Taylor Swift. But Swift would probably belong to the more positive contingent of commenters: the ones who are glad that Brown appears to be happy. Marrying a Bon Jovi is “very chic,” said one; “I wish everyone to find a love like this,” said another. Most importantly, they’re reminding the Twitter users who are shocked that their little baby Millie is, in fact, an adult who makes her own choices. Plus, plenty of people get married young, and it still works out. These things happen! (And maybe getting married when you’re older isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be, anyway.)
Whatever side you’re on—because I’m sure you’re on one—hopefully you can realize that the best position to take is wishing these two crazy kids all the best.
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